October 15, 1998

Well, last weekend sure was a great one for football lovers. First, in the east, we had a great game on Thursday night with Virginia Tech and Boston College. Why we play football on Thursday night is beyond me. Must be something to do with the Coach and the Pony needing something to do on the weekdays. Boy, I miss the Pony. Has anyone seen him lately??

I have to admit that I'm becoming more and more impressed with the football being played in the state of Virginia. To have 3 teams (Virginia, Virginia Tech and Western Virginia) in the Top 25 is oustanding. My hat's off to the Thomas Jefferson State!!!

Now, in the Midwest, we had another classic Big 10 - SWC Showdown when Nebraska went down to Austin to play Texas. Boy, that reminded me of those great games from the 70's. Except this time, it just wasn't 3 yards and a cloud of dust. My hat is off to the mighty Longhorns - Gig 'Em!!

Also in the Midwest, you had Indiana vs MSU. I was glad that this game went to overtime because I wanted to watch the OT more closely. Many of you wrote me to point out that I was wrong about OTs in college. So after regulation was over, I paid close attention to the game.

So, IU got the ball to start the game and then proceeded to take 4 plays to score a TD. They also went for the extra point. Now MSU got the ball and they scored in only 1 play. So why didn't MSU win?? They got in the end zone in fewer plays which means that on this short field, they are the better team.

But for whatever reason, the ref gave the ball back to IU and let them go again. This time they didn't score. They didn't even get a field goal. So MSU got the ball and they ran it into the endzone on their first play (or was it their second? I had to get Mom her 2nd 6 pack so I missed the details). Anyway, this time the refs must have decided that MSU's 2 TDs on 2 plays was more impressive because they declared MSU the victor. I just wish they would let them line up and play until one team scores and the other team can't.

Out west, the state of Arizona was busy with two big games. First, ND was at ASU. Then it was UCLA at Arizona. In the end, Arizona went 0-2, but both games provided plenty of excitement.

There was a lot of controversy last Saturday when the power went out at the Notre Dame vs. Arizona State tussle.

NBC couldn't show any more of the game so they switched to a re-run of "Pink Lady and Jeff" (I never understood that show, I kept on seeing two pink ladies and I swear I wasn't downing any of Corso's favorite soft drink Dr. Daniels).

The fans that blow cold air and mist onto the players' benches shut off and players started to sweat like pigs and the whole stadium smelled like a tire fire at a fish hatchery.

People attending the game who got stuck in the dark in the bathrooms made special new friends when they reached for the TP.

Fortunately it wasn't a night game or someone might have gotten hurt on the field. Have you ever imagined what it would be like to run after a ball carrier full blast, have the lights go out, and keep on running until you crash into the flagpole and smack your brains out until there's a bunch of gray matter just pulsating on the ground and your head hurts and you're looking for a Band-aid or something to stop all the blood gushing from your head? I know I have.

Having the power go out in Tempe helps us appreciate how lucky we are to have electricity in the stadiums. It wasn't always that way. In fact, one famous game from the early 1930's led to the move to put electricity in the stadiums.

In 1933 there was a big game scheduled between Fordham and Syracuse, to be played in Syracuse. Now this was in the days before Syracuse played in that Terrier Dome (I never understood why they named the stadium after Boston College's mascot). Syracuse played real rock-em sock-em outdoor football in a brand new stadium, like the rest of American colleges do even now.

Now Fordham had a pretty solid program in those days. They were famous for their "Seven Blocks of Granite". That was kind of a misnomer, it was not a reference to their offensive line but rather an acknowledgement of their training methods, which included a lot of Kaopectate to create more painful roughage and make the players meaner.

Syracuse was pretty proud of their stadium, but they chose not to be new-fangled and didn't have any of those electrical scoreboards that were becoming popular at places like Notre Dame and USC. Instead they, like many other schools, paid a local man to operate the clock and the scoreboard, just like those guys you used to see lurking behind the scoreboard in Fenway Park.

Unfortunately, this game was played the week that Prohibition was lifted in New York State. And the teenaged boy they hired to run the scoreboard, Thaddeus L. Wilson, decided to celebrate by spending the whole day in the local pub (his square head made him look older than he really was), which had just re-opened to celebrate and was serving straight shots of scotch.

Thaddeus, being a good Presbyterian, slammed down about 10 1-ouncers in a row and headed off to work the game.

Now you might think that Thaddeus, given his drunken state, plus his very thick glasses, would have problems with downs and yards to go. And you'd be correct in that. But the biggest problem was with the old-fashioned dial clock that was in use.

These clocks looked like any wall clock, except because they didn't keep regular time they couldn't use electricity or anything mechanical to run them, they had to use human power, from our friend Thaddeus, who by now was imagining that he was flying over the field and that the guys on the field were trench soldiers in World War I at the Third Battle of Ypres and he was getting ready to pull the lever to drop the bombs.

Fordham kicked off to start the game and Syracuse returned the ball to their own 33 yard line. Then the ref fired the gun to end the first quarter. It turned out that Thaddeus, while fantasizing, had leaned on one of the arms of the clock and pushed it downhill so it ran from 15 minutes left to 0 minutes left in a matter of seconds. The ref had fired the gun though, so the first period ended in a 0-0 tie, with both teams not having run a scrimmage play.

In the second quarter Thaddeus was a little more careful and the clock ran relatively normally. Syracuse mounted a good drive after a punt and moved down and scored a touchdown, then kicked the extra point. All the Syracuse fans were celebrating and the Thaddeus, apparently confusing two numerals, adjusted the scoreboard to read "Syracuse 1, Fordham 0".

People were screaming, but the refs ruled that the scoreboard was correct and official. Fordham came downfield and booted a field goal. Thaddeus, again apparently confused, adjusted the scoreboard to read "Syracuse 1, Fordham 8".

The rest of the second and third quarters were scoreless. In the 4th quarter the Orangemen mounted a drive, came down field, and put the ball in the end zone again. They kicked the extra point to tie the game. Except Thaddeus once more apparently was confused (I think his prescription for those glasses was bad) and adjusted the score as if Fordham had scored, making it "Syracuse 1, Fordham 15". Again the fans howled, but again the refs stated that the scoreboard was correct and official.

Finally, with 6 minutes left in the game, Syracuse scored yet again, and this time Thaddeus got it right and adjusted the scoreboard to "Syracuse 8, Fordham 15". Syracuse fans were hopeful they could get the ball back again, but the last 6 minutes vanished off the scoreboard in about 15 seconds as Thaddeus again leaned on the minute hand, and Fordham had the stunning upset victory, 15-8.

Needless to say, Syracuse and just about every other school in the country almost immediately switched over to electric clocks and electronic scoreboards after this debacle hit the wire services.

As for young Thaddeus, he was nearly run out of town on a rail. But that wasn't the last we heard from him. Fordham was so pleased with him helping them to victory that they offered him a scholarship (after he went to the sanitarium and dried out). Fordham also went to court to help Thaddeus legally chang his name so that he could escape all the Syracuse fans who wanted to hunt him down and slowly torture him to death.

Young Thaddeus, under his new name, became on to fame as a football player at Fordham, in fact he became one of the most famous players in Fordham history, and then moved on into coaching.

You see, young Thaddeus' drunken encounter with the scoreboard changed more than just the result that day. Thaddeus' name changed, as did his education plans and his eventual career plans.

Little did anyone know that when young Thaddeus ran, sick with nausea, away from the Syracuse campus with a mob of 100 students chasing him that he would become famous, not for the green on his face but for the green of his team's uniforms.

For young Thaddeus grew up, after his name change and his education at Fordham, to be the legendary coach of Green Bay Packers, Vince Lombardi.

And now you know the REST of the story.

So, it's off to another week of football. But I see that tonight the game is between the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay Phoenixes and the University of Detroit Titans. I didn't even know that they two schools played Div. I football. But I guess I'll be watching. you never know, you might see the next Barry Sanders or Bret Favre playing.

See next Beeno post