2000 Week 4
September 19, 2000
I was really happy to see the NCAA crack down on Penn State's scheduling practices. In his desperate drive to break Phil "Bear" Bryant's victory record, JoePa played a team from France, La Tech, as I informed you last week.
The NCAA caught wind of this and forced the Nittany Lions to face off against Pittsburgh. It's not typical for a college team like Penn State to have to face off in a regular season game against a team like the Steelers. But at least it forced Paterno and company to earn a real victory rather than the faux frog one from last week.
I must say that the Steelers are pretty bad this year. Losing to Penn State on one day then losing to the Browns the next, wow, that's the worst twin billing I've seen since the local TV station started showing Rosie and Oprah back to back (or is that cheek to cheek?)
Penn State was not the only team to go "out of their league". Wisconsin wanted revenge for last year's loss to the Bengals, and they got it, in overtime. They had sort of a mixed overtime rule for this one and it worked out for both teams. Cincinnati went first and kicked a field goal, so, under the NFL rules, the Bengals won the game in sudden death.
Then Wisconsin went and scored a TD, so, under the NCAA rules, the Badgers won the game. So both teams got out with a win. And Corso still claims that football is a zero-sum game, even though both teams won! No wonder why he flunked out of Florida State Women's College.
Bruce Snyder at Kansas State sure wanted to prove a point to the pollsters. Even with a huge lead, he had his QB throwing deep bombs vs. Bald State. People don't realize just how important the Bowl Series (BS) ratings are these days. It's vital to win by as many points as possible, because that factors into the BS formula. That's why all these teams are trying to score as many points as possible.
It's also important for your team's opponents to win their games. That's why I was really heartened at what happened in South Bend last weekend. All the Nebraska fans who gave Notre Dame Stadium one of its rare sellouts stuck around another week.
You see, the Huskers were idle, so their loyal fans stayed in town for the Notre Dame/Purdue game. They filled up Notre Dame Stadium yet again and cheered on the Irish to victory over Purdue. That win provided a boost to Nebraska's BS rating, and also helped give Notre Dame their second consecutive capacity crowd, which is good news for Bob Davis's chances of staying on as coach.
And the Nebraska fans sticking around another week did wonders for the South Bend economy. I hear there was a real run on those velvet Elvis paintings sold by that fat guy who hangs out by the Indiana Turnpike.
Speaking of Notre Dame, former Irish coach Lou Holtz won his third straight game for the South Carolina Gamecocks. After each of the first two victories excited USC fans tore down the goalposts.
But this week the school officials were ready for them and sank each goal post in 20 feet of rubber cement. It was fun to watch these students jumping up and down and yanking on the posts, watching them bend, then watching the posts snap back and fire the students into the air.
Turns out not many of them remembered to wear parachutes, so things got a little messy. That rubber cement sure is springy. I think with another 10 feet or so of the stuff they might have launched a student into orbit.
Tearing down goal posts is an old tradition in college football. Actually, though, it originally started by accident. Back in 1923, Illinois was playing Wisconsin down in Champaign.
The game was nip and tuck (kinda like my face before the plastic surgeons gave up). Late in the 4th quarter, with Wisconsin leading 20-18, Illinois was driving. They even scored the go-ahead TD on a Harold "Buck" Grange run ("Red" was only his public nickname), but it was called back on a holding penalty.
Legendary Illini coach Bob Zuppke then called for a special trick play. With time running out, the snap went directly to Grange, and he proceeded to drop kick the ball toward the goal post. Unfortunately, it wasn't a very good kick, and it landed square on the crossbar itself.
Thanks to some pigeons that had been perched there earlier, the crossbar was covered with pigeon droppings and the ball actually stuck to the crossbar.
Nobody knew what to do. The ball was halfway through the goal posts, so some thought it was good and others thought it was no good. Some Illinois students jumped out of the stands and grabbed onto the crossbar, trying to shake the ball through.
Finally the ball fell through the uprights and Illinois won the game. Unfortunately, several of the students had gotten their hands stuck in the guano and they continued shaking in the hopes of getting loose.
Pretty soon the goal posts collapsed, and those who had not been crushed began to celebrate the victory by running around with pieces of the goalpost, ramming the posts through 5 Wisconsin fans before they could get away to the trains back to Madison.
The Illinois teams were even known as "The Illinois Impalers" for several years, with Vlad the Impaler as their mascot. This lasted until protests by Romanian-American students led Illinois to choose the much more politically correct nickname "The Illini", with the famous mascot Chief Illiwek.