2002 Week 14
November 26, 2002
I tell you, hostilities have never been higher in college football than today.
Yesterday I finally saw film from that Hawaii vs. Cincinnati donnybrook out there on the big island. I know the Cincinnati people had to respect the customs of a foreign country, but I don't think it was very nice for the Hawaii people to take the Cincinnati mascot and throw him into that volcano.
Back here in the States we'd settle thing in a more civilized fashion, like taking the mascot and doing a little drawing and quartering.
That wasn't the only problem last week. Out in Seattle, an overtime game between Washington and cross-town rival Washington State really got out of hand.
After Washington recovered a fumble to clinch the game in the third overtime, WSU coach Mike Price went over and gave UW coach Ricky Neuheisel a wedgie. Ricky's underwear was stretched all out of shape and Ricky had to remove it. Ricky's thong is now for sale on eBay.
Another OT game produced perhaps the worst on- and off-field violence. Ohio State was ahead by 5 points in overtime vs. Michigan when Michigan started its series at the OSU 25.
The Wolverines lost the game on 2nd down after their QB Dave Navarro forced a pass into the end zone where it was picked off.
Michigan fans at the game, angry at the idiotic risky play call, stormed the field in protest, tore up the turf, and even tried to tear down the goal posts. Not only that, they burned down half the town of Columbus.
I'd hate to see how they'd behave if Michigan had won the game.
Thankfully the Ohio State fans showed a lot more class and grace than did the Michigan fans and were quite restrained in their post-game celebrations. I really enjoyed watching film of that post-game semi-formal cocktail party on High Street.
I'd also like to congratulate Coop for finally getting the monkey off his back (it was one of those ugly shaved-butt monkeys) and making it to Pasadena.
One of the other strange trends in college football of late has been the eyewear of coaches. That coach at NC State had a wild pair of black wraparound sunglasses. He looked like a member of that weird rock and roll band from Austin, Bevo.
Notre Dame coach Ty Dillingham is also well-known for his sunglasses, which shield his sensitive eyes from the reflection off the famous gold-painted Dome. I hear Ty is one of those albinos.
This whole coaching eyewear thing really got its start in the Midwest. Woody Hayes was one of the first to wear glasses. Woody was farsighted and was having trouble seeing his players when he wanted to clobber them.
Woody's protege, Bo Schnellenberger, picked up on the trend. At one time Bo got his glasses made by famous designers, just like famed rock star Elton Joel.
That designer glasses phase ended the one time Bo showed up at a Michigan vs. Ohio State game wearing glasses with wings just liked the Michigan winged helmet. Woody met him at midfield, called Bo a "nancy-boy", and stomped on Bo's foot. After that Bo went back to the regular Woody-style wire rimmed glasses.
The trend toward glasses spread around the Midwest, even among coaches who didn't have bad eyesight, like Iowa's Hayden Fox.
One exception was former Michigan State Chippewa coach Nick Satan, whose searing red eyes would melt any pair of glasses made for him, so he finally did without.
It's good to see this trend toward wearing glasses go nationwide among coaches.
And there are now reports that the trend toward wearing glasses may spread to referees. A number of refs have reported receiving pairs of thick horn-rimmed glasses mailed anonymously by some four-eyed putz in State College Station PA.