2007 Week 9
November 2, 2007
One of the best things about this time of year, aside from all the football, is that it's the start of the holiday season.
My favorite holiday is probably Halloween. There's nothing like going door to door, ringing the doorbell, waiting for someone to open the door, then listening to people screaming. And most years I don't even wear a costume!!! And even when I do, people seem to think I'm dressing up as a human goiter.
The other neat thing about Halloween is that it's a great time to think about what scares you. And while watching the games over the last week, in honor of Halloween, I began to think about what scares me most in college football:
The blood-red eyes of October 31st birthday boy Nick Satan
Jared Lorenzo in a thong
Kansas playing Missouri for a BS bowel berth
The gooey stuff that the liposuction vacuum pulls out of my neck
The West Virginia Mountain Man mascot and what he did with his musket to the Syracuse Orange Testicle
My good friend Mike Tirico in a thong
Yukon's Big East travel budget
The trophy held up by the winning team in the Iron Bowel game
My good friend Sean Salisbury and his cell phone
The late Howard Schembechler's mustache
My good friend Lee Corso in a sundress
Tuesday night MAC games
Wednesday night MAC games
Any MAC games
My good friend Herb Street and his giggling explanations of how he used to "dot the eye" at Ohio State
Those fake horns that those U-Texas boys put on that cow Beavis
That booger that was hanging from Erin Andrews nose during last week's game
Ralph Fridge, Charles White, and Mike Mangino at Old Country Buffet
Finally, and certainly the scariest: My dream last night, where three Song Girls were sitting in my lap. I woke up, they were gone, and my colostomy bag was full