2008 Week 1
September 4, 2008
Welcome back, after another long boring offseason. Those months from January through August used to fly right on by. Stoli's pretty good for that. But the delay is not nearly as enjoyable now, not with doctors saying stuff like "your liver is like a brick" and all that hullabaloo. Things just seem to drag along most of the summer, with far too much baseball on the air.
I tried to spice things up and spent a couple months enjoying the fine dining down on Sanibel Island, but it turns out that you can lose a lot of teeth from those seashells. I then went on a cruise, and believe me, it's true what they say about cruise food. I started on the meal plan called "B.U.F.F.E.T." but after my competition keeled over I had to go solo and the plan was renamed "big ugly fat fella eating alone".
I returned home after the cruise and bought myself a nice laptop computer. Unfortunately my post-cruise lap is high enough these days that the screen is too close to my eyes and I became cross-eyed for a while.
While on the computer I got into some of the popular new websites and, to make a long story shorter than usual (for me), I've created a myspace page:
http://www.myspace.com/beenocook
So now there's a new place where you can read my thoughts on the football season and learn more about my personal life.
In college basketball it's pretty common to start the season off with a pre-season tournament that imitates the post-season, and that's now the case with college football.
You've got all these pre-season bowels, like the Chick-Fil-A College Kickoff, where the forces of Nick Satan crushed one of the lesser Bowdens and ate his entrails.
On Monday night UCLA came back to knock off Tennessee in the Coaches Against Integrity Classic.
You also had the Battle for the Boarder between South Carolina and North Carolina State. NC State lost big and is now stuck with the responsibility for housing noted hobo Stanley Johnson.
Oregon topped Washington on the opening date of the Ty Dillingham Farewell Tour.
Utah nipped Michigan in the Home Depot Build-a-Roof Contest, so construction on Michigan's new stadium roof will cease. Apparently Michigan needs to raise money to pay for the work so far, because they split their squads and their other unit lost to Maryland while wearing coach RickRolled's gaudy bright yellow Western Virginia style uniforms.
There was even a play-in game, with UTEP facing off against Buffalo. Buffalo won and moved on, hopefully Buffalo can soon get back to their Super Bowel form.
As you likely know, this is the 40th anniversary of the USC Song Girls.
I plan to salute a different Song Girl each week. This week's nominee is Jamie from the 1973 squad.
Jamie first came to my attention during the USC at Notre Dame game, as she stood sideways and blocked my view of the end zone. "Damnit, woman, stop bouncing around up there, I'm trying to watch a game". But she didn't listen because I was 500 miles away.
Speaking of my favorite team, I recently discovered that you can rent the Song Girls for a day!
https://bustedcoverage.com/2008/09/05/the-perfect-party-favor-rent-a-usc-song-girl/
I'm thinking about doing this. I'd like some suggestions from you as to how I should answer the question on the linked form "what do you want the Song Girls to do?".
I could use some help raking the leaves this fall, and there's this big boil on my back that I can't quite reach to pop. Do any of you have any other suggestions for what I could ask the Song Girls to do?