2008 Week 10
November 4, 2008
Last Saturday was a fine day to relax in front of the tube, adjust the Stoli drip, and enjoy some fine college football action.
I guess we were all quite moved late Saturday night, as that emotional scene unfolded in Lubbock. Texas Tech finally climbed to the top, surpassing a legendary power in college football and impressing the rest of the nation.
Yes, the unveiling of that gigantic Buddy Holly statue meant that the Road Graders have finally outdone Notre Dame and Touchdown Jesus. I was glad to see my good friend Lee Corso get into the spirit of things by dressing up as a long cool woman in a black dress, then again he seems to do that a lot.
As for the football game, it was also fairly dramatic as a Texas Tech wide receiver emerged to the surprise of the nation. Yes, the Pony's son caught a pass! We have finally found the Pony. I've been looking for him for years, going into room after room that was full of manure, convinced that there had to be a pony in there somewhere.
In other action, Brigham Young pulled out an exciting win over Colorado State to stay in the WAC race. Florida bombed Georgia in the World's Largest Cocktail Party Outside Coach Majors' House and took the lead in the SEC South. And Nebraska let Oklahoma get a big lead to get them overconfident, then came back and played the Sooners dead even over the last 50 minutes. You've got to admire a coach like Beaux Pelini who can turn things around like that.
Now one of the strangest games of the day took place in South Bend. Pitt paid a visit to Notre Dame and when the clock showed 0:000 the score was tied. So they had to play overtime.
I'm still trying to get these overtime rules straight. Apparently they've now switched to a shootout like in that weird Canadian sport, hookey. Each team got three shots at kicking the puck through the goal posts and each team made all three, then they had sudden death and Notre Dame missed the kick while Pitt made theirs, so Pitt won the game.
Another very odd moment occurred when lining up for the kicks in the south end zone during the first overtime. The sprinklers in the north end zone of Notre Dame Stadium began to spray holy water on the students. Apparently because of the overtime the students were going to be late for Saturday night Mass, so they wanted to get the sprinkling out of the way before the services started.
That was one benefit. The other potential benefit is that the holy water would burn the evil roster of the Pitt Panthers and thus could have carried the Irish to victory, if only they'd turned on the sprinklers in the correct end zone. As is well known, Coach Wannstache is a protege of Miami of Florida's pork-faced Satan, Jimmy Johnson, and has conveyed Jimmy's evil powers onto his players. However, I suspect Pitt anticipated this maneuver and wisely chose the south end zone. Good job, Coach.
On an unrelated subject, I'd like to point out that this is a very important day for our nation.
We've all been looking forward to today, November 4th.
Folks have been arguing over which side is more likely to win for months, there have been polls, nonstop news stories, with the press and public's attention focusing on the most vital of contests, involving Ohio and the "Rust Belt" in the Northeast. So be sure to tune in tonight.
My prediction in tonight's extremely important showdown? The University of Buffalo 23, Miami of Ohio 14.