2009 Week 9
November 5, 2009
This is by far the most exciting part of the sports year. Fall is winding down, the leaves are off the trees, and anticipation builds for weeks and weeks. Then, finally, we realize that we've reached that magical day: the end of the baseball season!
Several of you were concerned about my appearance on my good friend Carl Coward's show yesterday. I told his radio audience that every August I tell God not to take me until I find out who is #1. They were worried that I had taken ill. I'm fine.
I only take 23 pills per day and most of them cancel each other out. I admit that some days I can't lift my belly up over the table so my reflux starts acting up, but that just helps me keep my weight down a tad. Thanks to that I haven't added a new chin in two years. So don't worry about me, I'm just counting down the days until I hit the century mark.
In actual game action, Florida really laid waste to Georgia in the World's Largest Cockfighting Party. And that Brandon Spikes guy, what a nasty shot he gave to that Georgia guy!
I haven't seen an eye-gouging like that since the very brief wrassling career of my good friend Dick Vitale.
In other action, Miami has turned things around, winning a split squad game against Wake Forest and Toledo of Ohio.
Southern Florida won the battle of directional schools, upsetting Western Virginia and sending the Mountain Men limping back to the Thomas Jefferson State.
Boston College really stuck it to Seaman U. Navy's been doing well the past few years but isn't ready to take on these big-city public colleges. At least the Midshipmen avoided playing Bruce Snyder's Kansas City State squad.
I was a bit surprised to tune in and watch a bowel game so early this year. Notre Dame knocked off Washington State in the Alamo Bowel.
One of the great stories this year has been the Horny Toads of Texas Christian University. TCU has a great tradition, with legendary players like Slingin' Sammy Baugh, Conan O'Brien, and Lily Tomlin's Satanic son Damien. I'm guessing they'll have a showdown with the University of Texas Aggies in Austin, for the Southwest Conference title.
I'd like to close by noting one of the sadder news items of last week--the announced retirement of long-time Florida State defensive coordinator Mickey Andrews.
I'm sorry that Coach Andrews has felt so embarrassed by what's gone on this year. It's got to be awful to watch your pride and joy get exposed like that, with everyone gawking at the highlights. Millions staring as that which you love so much willingly bends over before a large audience.
Hopefully Mickey will soon feel better about the controversy surrounding his daughter Erin and reconsider.