2010 Week 11
November 15, 2010
There were a lot of big doings in college football over the last week.
Perhaps the most notable situation involves Auburn quarterback Cam Newton. Cam has been accused of seeking almost $200,000 to play for the War Eagles. He also was accused of having academic problems, and it's obvious that Cam Newton is no intellectual match for his ancestor Isaac. Cam should have known that $200K was the Auburn booster going rate for about one month of Bo Jackson.
Cam, however, was not distracted last Saturday as he pounded UGA and beat that little doggie's football team to boot.
Notre Dame has struggled this year, especially with injuries, so it was nice to see them have a solid win even if it was against a commuter school like the University of Texas at Houston. The Texas teams sure seem to be struggling this year, U.T.A.H. and the University of Texas have been real disappointments. Texas Christian has done well, but I don't really count them as a Texas team because they're Christians.
One of the stranger games was what appeared to be an intrasquad game between the Navel Academy and Semen You. For some reason the game was played in a small town called Felch, Michigan. I understand that the field was very slick and the players' uniforms were a mess by halftime. Seaman U came from behind late then pulled it out.
There was an exciting game in Berkeley as Cal gave #1 ranked Oregon its best shot before the Beavers won 15-13. It was a battle of the kickers, with Oregon knocking five through, and the Bears kicking four FGs and an extra point.
The biggest blowout of the weekend took place in Madison, as Wisconsin annihilated IU 83-20. I haven't seen a shellacking like that since Paul Lynde's "Leather Party Tape 1978".
There was a homecoming of sorts in Lincoln, as a former Husker legend brought Kansas to town. The Nebraska "Brown Shirt" defense stepped all over the Jawhawks, which I'm sure was a disappointment to rookie coach Eric Crotch.
I decided to take a different approach to last weekend's football action. Instead of laying back in my recliner with a mini-fridge next to me, I attended the Penn State vs Ohio State game in Columbus. I wanted to apologize personally to JoePa for implying that his 400 milestone was his 400th birthday. He was very gracious, he even said "Beeno! I remember you! You help me avoid getting gas during games!" Then he broke wind and tried to gum my left forearm.
As for the action on the field, I was able to join my good friend Herb Street in the ABC booth. I told Herb that one of my dreams was to dot the "i" in Columbus.
Herb said he got to dot the "i" in Columbus many times.
I said "they let football players dot the 'i'?"
Herb said "oh yeah, various girls at the I Felta Thigh sorority let me dot the 'i' every few days".
I don't understand Herb at times.
In any event, it was nice to go out and enjoy the sights and smells of college football once again. But next week I think I'll just sit at home, lean back in the recliner, and break out a new batch of Depends to capture any leakage.