2017 Week 1
September 5, 2017
And welcome back to the world of college football!
I know the off-season is a pretty tough time of year for all of us. Recruiting is entertaining as is spring football, but it's followed by four months of Miami Marlins games. So all of us up here in the Great Beyond have been as impatient as you all have been.
Now some of you asked me what we did up here to watch the eclipse. You have to understand, we aren't on earth so we aren't all lined up to see the moon block out the sun. Besides, whenever someone up here wants to see a large round moon cover up the sun, I wander over, step in front of the window, and drop trou.
As for the games, we had some really fine matchups to start the season. I get tired of all these cupcake games, let's just watch some big boys line up and knock each other around.
There were even some conference battles to open the season. Ohio State pulled away in the second half to win at Indiana 49-21 in a Big Ten opener. The #1 rated Alabama Crimson Tide had little trouble with SEC rival Florida State, winning 24-7.
While the Buckeyes opened with a legit opponent, most of the rest of the Big Ten played patsies. Illinois edged Bald State. The Michigan State Fighting Chippewas handled Boweling Green. Iowa had little trouble with the WAC's Wyoming. Nebraska survived a dramatic finish against R Kansas State. Michigan almost doubled up the weak sisters from Florida Undergraduate College.
Purdue, meanwhile, crossed over and took on the National League's St. Louisville Cardinals, falling in the 4th quarter to Lou Brock and company.
In a New Testament vs Old Testament game, the Fighting Irish had little trouble with Temple, winning 49-16.
Speaking of religious battles, one of the biggest upsets, between the faithful and the faithless, occurred in Waco. The Battling Babtists of Baylor fell to the Rand-roids of Liberty University, 43-40.
Howard University was the biggest underdog ever to win a game, as Auburn great Cam Newton's little brother Caylin led the Bison to a win at 45-point favorite UNLV. Their great great great grandpa Isaac even stopped by the watch some of the action. And reaction.
Speaking of Bison, Minnesota beat Buffalo 17-7. I think it will be another long year in the AFC East for the Bills.
My daughter Beth Cook only got scored on by the Miami team 41 times. She's slowing down in her old age.
USC scheduled MAC champion Western Michigan and had quite a battle before scoring a couple times late to win 49-31. Meanwhile cross-town rival UCLA played Texas A&M. UCLA was down 44-10 at one point before rallying to win 45-44. I haven't seen an Aggie choke like that since Rick Perry's last presidential debate.
We had a full five nights of action, which is why I love the start of the season. Virginia Tech scored late to beat cross-state rival Western Virginia, 31-24. Meanwhile on Labor Day the Tennessee Vols beat Georgia Tech 42-41 in double overtime. Now I'm still a bit confused about these overtime rules. Georgia Tech went first, started from around the 25, and kicked a field goal that was blocked. Then they got to go again and scored a TD, then Tennessee went twice from the 25, then Georgia Tech went twice more, but the second time they went from the 3 yard line and only got one play.
On Saturday I was trying to follow the scoring on CBS Sports' website because they did a good job of updating. The problem was the abbreviations they used for the teams. Kansas played something called "SEMOST" which is less sloppy than playing the Navy SEAMEN. Coastal Caroline played "MA", which may be a women's team. Strangest of all, Auburn played something called "GAS". Trust me, you don't want to play with GAS, even if you have an Iron Bowel.
So we've got some great matchups next week, including my Pitt Panthers vs Penn State, Georgia vs. Notre Dame, USC vs Stanford, Auburn vs. Clemson, Oklahoma vs Ohio State, and Eastern Michigan at Rutgers. Should be a great week!