2018 Week 8
October 23, 2018
It was a good weekend for intense rivalry games. Because it was the third Saturday in October, Alabama laid a licking on Tennessee, bombing the Vols 58-21. After the game was over the Alabama players saluted their current assistant and former Tennessee coach Butch Jones with a golden Gatorade shower. I never knew Gatorade was a diuretic.
There was another bitter slugfest further north as Michigan knocked off the Michigan State Fighting Chippewas 21-7 to take back another famous Big Ten trophy. Because Minnesota and Wisconsin had already laid claim to Paul Bunyan's Ass, Michigan and MSU battle instead for Paul Bunyan's Cajones. I'm still not sure why the Michigan players were on the field after the game playing bocce ball with the trophy, it seems pretty disrespectful to Paul's memory. And his gonads.
Elsewhere in the Big Ten, Indiana put on a game effort against Penn State, losing 33-28 as a last-second Hail Mary came up short. I'm surprised coaches don't realize that Hail Marys should be thrown to the end zone, not to midfield.
#2 ranked Ohio State had a very tough day in West Lafayette, getting blown out by Purdue, 49-20. Nothing went right for R Ban Meyer and friends. Up here Coach Hayes was absolutely livid. He was throwing things, madder than hops about the game. "I can't believe my school would put up such an awful effort! I don't care about losing, I can't believe we threw 73 passes! My teams didn't throw 73 passes during entire seasons!"
The College Gameday crew made their way to Pullman Washington and got to watch the Fighting Pirates pull away from the Oregon Beavers 34-20. It will be entertaining to see how the College Gameday crew makes its way out of Pullman, it's pretty easy to get lost in eastern Washington. I think Coach Price hasn't been seen for years after looking for one of his special lady friends in Spokane.
In a battle of unbeatens, Clemson had little trouble with North Carolina State, winning 41-7. The Tigers seem well primed for a berth in the BS playoffs.
Temple upended #20 Cincinnati, 24-17. It's got to be pretty disappointing for Coach Lewis and the Bengals.
Army defeated Miami of Ohio 31-30 in double overtime. I still don't understand these overtime rules. Apparently Miami had to go for two points in the second overtime not the third. Meanwhile Syracuse beat North Carolina 43-40 in double overtime but did not go for two after taking the lead in the second overtime.
UCLA held off Arizona. The Wildcats sprung a surprise, as they put former coach Dick Rodriguez in at quarterback with his wife also taking the field as a cheerleader. That's what you get, Dick, for signing those personal services contracts, they can make you do just about any job. My good friend Howard Cosell often tells me about the time Roone Arledge tricked him into signing a personal services contract and soon enough Howard was put to work milking Roone's bulls. He said he got pretty good at it, enough so that some film producers in the San Fernando Valley offered him a contract for some job called "fluffing". I don't understand what Howard's talking about at times.
We have some great matchups coming up. Iowa and Penn State will attempt to re-enact their 6-4 classic of a few years back, Clemson takes their unbeaten season into Tallahassee, and, my favorite game of the year will take place, the World's Biggest Cocktail Party, as Florida and Georgia square off. Make mine a double!