2019 Week 8
October 23, 2019
There's not much more exciting than the third Saturday in October for college football action. Especially that showdown in Tuscaloosa, as the Tide played with their food for a couple quarters before pulling away.
I was disappointed to see Bama lose their star quarterback during the game, as Tuba Tuiasosopo is the best Polynesian quarterback since the throwin' Samoan Jack Thompson. I just hope his quarterback parents Marques Tuiasosopo and Buckeye legend, the former Tom Tuba, can help him convalesce.
Penn State held off a late Michigan comeback to win in State College Station, 28-21. The Nittany Lions are undefeated and headed toward a showdown with Ohio State, who had no trouble with Northwestern as the Buckeye team and fans had a fine time in that exciting party town of Evanston Illinois. The OSU fans left with a lifetime of memories and only 37 arrests.
One of the most surprisingly exciting games occurred in Austin, as Texas proved that once again it is back, holding off a surprisingly game Kansas Jayhawk team, winning 50-48. Coach Miles had his team pretty fired up. I saw my good friend Rece Davis compliment the Jayhawks for matching Texas blow for blow so it was just as well that Coach Corso wasn't around the set as that "blow for blow" term gets his attention for some reason. I don't understand Coach at times.
My Pitt Panthers continued their fine season with a 27-20 win over the Syracuse Orange Testicle. While Penn State has the edge this year for the Jack Lambert Trophy, I do notice more and more Pitt players with missing teeth so they may catch up to the Nittany Lions and take back that coveted dental health memento.
Out West Oregon scored a late TD then held off Washington, in Seattle, winning 35-31. La Tech Fighting Frog legend Bobby Hebert's son Justin has had a great season. I'm just surprised, given his Cajun bloodlines, that he's not playing for Coach Ogre at LSU.
Things were not very exciting early in the Kentucky vs Georgia game (a game eventually won by the Bulldogs, 21-0). The game was scoreless at the half and you could see that on the screen: K00G. I understand my daughter Beth Cook saw that "koog" sign and treated it like a bat signal, booking a flight to Athens for some action with some young UGA men, but, alas, by that time the Bulldogs had scored and didn't need her anymore.
North Carolina and Virginia Tech engaged in the weirdest overtime game I've ever seen. Now I'm still a bit confused about these overtime rules and I suspect UNC's John Mackovic Brown was pretty confused as well. Both teams started bricking field goals in overtime, then they started trying two point conversions. Neither team scored for about 4 possessions. The lack of scoring competence made it reminiscent of a soccer shootout though at least the soccer shootout has a guy in position to get in the way of the kicks. These FG kickers hooked the ball worse than a Chicago Bear.
The weirdest play of the day was the fake punt run by R Kansas against Auburn. The Hogg punter tried to pass the ball to an up back and it was intercepted. The pass itself resembled a Shack free throw and was about as accurate. In fact I haven't seen such a lousy failed pass since that time my good friend Herb Street tried to pick up Erin Andrews postgame.
The biggest upset of the week occurred in Champaign Illinois, as the heavy underdog Illini kicked a late field goal to upset unbeaten Wisconsin, 24-23. Illinois pulled out all stops in that one, their coach Lovie Smith even dressed up as Santa Claus to inspire them. Or maybe it was a Halloween costume, in which case it was probably Coach Smith dressing up as Nick Satan Claus in honor of Alabama's dark Lord's birthday. In any event, it was quite a win over the Badgers.
I also want to discuss the near tragedy in Norman as, during Oklahoma's blowout win over Western Virginia, the Sooner Schooner wiped out on the field. Fortunately nobody was hurt in the spill.
Unfortunately, the WVU Mountain Man mascot took it upon himself to pull out his muzzleloader to try to finish off the survivors. While they were wounded by the buckshot, they probably would have been okay had he not then gone on to gut them.
Next weekend is another big one, with Wisconsin at Ohio State, Auburn at LSU, Notre Dame at Michigan, and Yukon at UMass. Talk to you soon!