2021 Week 5
October 6, 2021
We had a lot of down to the wire thrillers mixed in with some pretty ugly blowouts.
In a meeting of top ten foes, Georgia obliterated R Kansas, 37-0. I haven't seen a Hog get shut down like that since Bret Bielema's date with Erin Andrews.
My Pitt Panthers seem to be turning things around, they had an easy win over Georgia Tech, 52-21. But the real drama in the ACC occurred when Virginia held off Miami, 30-28. After that exciting NFL game last week where Baltimore bounced a 66-yard field goal off and over the crossbar, I think teams are getting too fancy with their kicks. Miami's kicker tried to bounce one off the left upright and through, but failed. You need to stick it through the middle, there's a big enough gap there that you can do so without touching anything, just ask my daughter.
The Big Ten featured several blowouts, as Michigan had little trouble at Wisconsin, Ohio State put up 52 at Rutgers, and Iowa made turtle soup of Maryland 51-14.
Oklahoma's penchant for close wins continued as they held off Kansas City State, 37-31. KC State tried an onside kick late in the game and recovered it. Then the officials reviewed the play and determined that the kicker had touched the ball twice and so it was side out for Oklahoma. I'm not sure when they started using volleyball rules in football, but the thought of Coach Bruce Snyder in volleyball shorts just made me lose my lunch.
Texas Tech blew a solid lead at Western Virginia but then got a late field goal to win 23-20. TTU quarterback Henri Columbo had a fine game. My good friend Peter Falk showed up all excited, saying Henri was his grandson. Then he opened his trench coat and flashed Bea Arthur and a ruckus ensued and he claimed he got poked in the eye and couldn't see. I said "Peter, that's your glass eye, you're fine".
Things get pretty bad here on tequila night.
Stanford defeated Oregon 31-24 in overtime. There was some controversy because Stanford scored on an untimed play. Now I'm still a bit confused about these overtime rules, but I thought all plays in overtime were untimed.
Florida State had a dramatic win over Syracuse, with a QB scramble setting up a late field goal for a 33-30 win at Luther Campbell Doak Walker Stadium.
The Cincinnati John Wayne Gacys had an impressive win in South Bend, taking down Notre Dame 24-13. I'm forecasting a return to LA to resume acting and coaching for Coach Sandler.
Alabama continued its dominant campaign with a crushing win over Ole Southern Miss, 42-21. Meanwhile Kentucky pulled off an upset against Florida, thanks to running back a blocked field goal. The fans ran onto the field at the end, just as they did against LSU almost two decades ago, but this time there was no Nick Satan to pull any black magic for a shocking win. Just Dan Mullen and a very bufuddled but sad blank stare.
Auburn knocked off LSU to kick off the Coach Ogre Farewell Tour. Meanwhile in SEC non-conference play Mississippi State upset Texas A&M 26-22 as former Texas Tech Coach Pirate Rick Leach took another win in State College Station. Which reminds me, where's the Pony? Has anyone seen the Pony?
I must say I'm finally getting pretty excited about the season. We've got one of the all-time classic offensive showcases coming up, with Penn State traveling to Iowa. Here's hoping for another scintillating 6-4 game. Talk to you soon!