2025 Week 4
September 22, 2025
One of my favorite weeks of the year is Rivalry Week, where you get to see all the fierce traditional games. Games like Michigan vs Ohio State, the Iron Bowel featuring Auburn and Alabama, and the battle between Minnesota and Wisconsin for Paul Bunyan's Ass.
Granted, not all rivalry games are in late November - the Red River Shootout and the Bama/Tennessee games are October staples, but those are exceptions.
So I was more than a bit surprised to see Rivalry Week games during week 4. For some reason the powers that be moved up some showdowns from the Great Northwest into September. Technically it's not even autumn yet, but we got to watch Oregon plow Oregon State 41-7 in the Civilian War, then Washington pulled away late in Pullman, 59-24, to retake possession of the Apple Cup.
Never understood the fascination with an apple cup, apples aren't that strong. Hell, one good kick to the jimmy from a defensive lineman would likely explode a Red Delicious as well as at least one gonad.
Anyway, the Huskies and Beavers now have taken command in the Pac-8 race with their early conference game victories.
There was one other weird rivalry game where Tulsa won in Stillwater for the first time since the 50's when I was a spry octogenarian. For some reason they called the game the "Turnpike Classic". I've driven in Oklahoma, those turnpikes are anything but classic. Most boring stretch of road I've ever seen, the only saving grace is they have the world's largest McDonald's. Had a big meal there once then saw they had a place next door called Kum & Go so I figured that Oklahoma was now allowing professional ladies just like Nevada. I got in real trouble when I found out the hard way that it was just a gas station. Deceptive advertising is what I'd call it.
The rest of the schedule was more along the lines of what we'd expect. Though I'm still a bit confused about these TV-dictated start times. There was a big SWC showdown where Texas Tech went on the road to face the University of Texas at Houston. The announcers noted that the game started in the late morning in Houston. U.T.A.H. seemed pretty groggy and lost 34-10 to the Red Raiders.
Even more confusing, the Michigan State Fighting Chippewas traveled to the Coliseum to face Southern Cal in a game that Fox decided to start at 11 p.m. in the Eastern time zone to draw late viewers. That made things really difficult for fans in Los Angeles what with a 2 a.m. Pacific start time.
In a game with a more normal start time, Arizona State booted a late field goal for a big road win at Baylor 27-24. Just a bit further north TCU had a strong performance in their 35-24 win over SMU. SMU sure isn't quite what they were in the glory days now that everyone is allowed to pay players. I miss the Pony. Has anyone seen the Pony?
One of the biggest stunners of the day took place in the Palmetto State as Syracuse came down and dominated from the opening kickoff, with the Orange Testicles taking a 34-21 win over Clemson. Clemson, who began the year as a popular pick to win the BS championship, is now 1-3 - and there are now calls for coach Dano Sweeney to get fired. I haven't seen someone associated with tigers fall from grace so quickly since that Joe Erotic guy.
It's been a pretty tough season already for coaches under fire. UCLA and VPI have already canned their coaches. Wisconsin got blown out at home by Maryland to fall to 2-2. Coach Water Boy better watch his back, as Coach Alvarez may be pulling out his shiv or doing indescribable things to Water Boy's parrot.
Florida may be having a coaching search pretty soon themselves as they went down to the Orange Bowel and lost to Miami 26-7. I'm not sure what Visor Boy is up to these days but the Gators may want to reach out to him, he can't be much older than the recently retired Nick Satan and he's only slightly more evil.
Of course the big off season coaching news was the arrival of Coach Belichick in Chapel Hill. Coach has definitely made some big changes, installing new formations like the split tee, the flexible bone, and the microskirt.
In one of the more exciting games of the day, Memphis held on to upset R Kansas 32-31 by recovering a fumble inside the 10 with about a minute to go. Meanwhile, in a battle of ranked teams, Oklahoma came from behind to upend Auburn 24-17, continuing a fine turnaround season in Norman.
Notre Dame got their first win with a home blowout over Purdue in a game that was delayed by lightning. Further south in the Hoosier state the only lightning was on the field as Indiana pummeled Illinois, 63-10. The Illini came into the season highly touted but fell flat. I have to say it was an incredibly embarrassing loss for Coach Bulimia - I haven't seen a whale get flogged like that since I walked in on Rod Jeremy at a sperm bank.
Texas continued their fine turnaround from their week 1 loss to Ohio State, having an easy time with the Sam Houston Institute of Technology in a 55-0 win. Longhorn QB Peyton Manning III had little trouble cutting through a S.H.I.T. defense.
The good news is there are now fewer and fewer cupcake games against S.H.I.T. teams. We're going to see some big boy matchups this coming weekend like Ohio State at Washington, LSU at Ole Southern Piss, Oregon at Penn State, Alabama at Georgia, and UCLA at Northwestern. Can't wait!