2026 Week 9
November 3, 2026
Once again we had some great finishes in college football.
I especially enjoyed the final part of the North Carolina vs Miami game. The Tar Heels pulled within 3 then tried an onside kick and recovered it. But they violated the rules on the play and got called for a penalty. Then they tried another onside kick and recovered that one too. But they were broke a different rule and got penalized again. The third time they tried yet another onside kick, didn't recover it, but this time they didn't break any rules and so lost the game. I think the lesson is clear, the SEC schools are right, just keep breaking the rules until you get the result you want.
I made a mistake a week ago, I assumed that the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party was still being held at the FU Gator's Bowels in Jacksonville. Apparently they are renovating the Gator's Bowels, which is kind of disturbing. Anyway the game was played indoors in Atlanta this time but they changed the name to include some sponsor I've never heard of. I guess they couldn't rename it "the World's Largest Indoor Cocktail Party", this is Georgia, half the counties are still dry.
As for the game, Georgia plowed through Florida like they were taking personal revenge on General Sherman. Who wasn't from Florida by the way. And is still the reigning 1864-65 SEC champion.
Indiana continues to live on the edge, going overtime yet again, this time with Minnesota, with the Hoosiers winning 23-16. Now I'm still a bit confused by these overtime rules. The second overtime, where Indiana scored a TD and Minnesota was shut out, I understood that one. But for the first overtime they had a field goal shootout from 60 yards and both teams made their kicks. But instead of stepping back to 65 yards and trying again, they just switched to regular football so I'm still at a loss to understand.
Washington and Nebraska played a very dull game until the final minutes. With the Cornholio leading 7-3 with under 2 minutes to go Washington hit a 30-yard pass then got a pick six a few seconds later to take a 17-7 lead and held on 17-10. I haven't seen something with a purple helmet score two times in 15 seconds since junior high.
Texas Tech continued yet another fine year with a solid win over a very good Arizona team. Elsewhere in the Midlands, Iowa State last second three point field goal to beat Oklahoma State 51-49. No, I checked, it wasn't Big 8 basketball, they tend to score in the 80's.
Northwestern and offensive coordinator C Kelly took an early lead at Oregon, but the Ducks fought back and pulled out a 34-26 victory, to keep alive their ambitious pre season dreams of a trip to New York for the Pinstripe Bowel.
One of the best games out west was Bring 'Em Young's narrow 27-20 win over a game Arizona State team. During the game BEY was called for "roughing the snapper". I guess Elder Joseph must have bounced the bed too violently while Elder Ethan was soaking in Sister Mary.
Syracuse had a nice comeback win over Southern Methodist, with a last-second touchdown giving a win to the host Orange Testicle. Speaking of SMU, has anyone seen the Pony? I miss the Pony.
There was a real slobber knocker of a late night matchup in the Coliseum, as Southern Cal jumped out to an early lead on the Ohio State Huckeyes and held them off for a 30-18 victory. Surprisingly Coaches Hayes and McKay did well while watching the game together. Apparently Woody pretty much accepts what's going to happen when OSU travels to the Los Angeles area for a game. He's almost getting too mellow these days. I like the old Woody as it's fun to see some chairs flying and learn some creative new compound swear words.
Finally I'd like to conclude with a plea to all you folks living in America these days. I know it's been a really contentious few years and I know emotions are running high. People in blue states like New York can't stand people who cheer on the red in Ohio. In fact things are often pretty ugly.
So on this most special of days I'd like to ask all of you to calm your emotions as we all await the big results on Tuesday night and as we sit excitedly in front of your TVs or computers. I assume you're all as fired up as I am to see what happens after 8 o'clock that evening. Be sure to tune in CBS Sports Net as the blue clad Buffalo Bison of NY state take on the Miami Red Hawks of Ohio as MACtion November gets underway. Should be great!