1999 Week 5
October 6, 1999
The 1999 football season is shaping up as one of the most enjoyable in years. We're seeing the re-emergence of some of the traditional powers such as Miami and Washington. And it's not just in the NFL, some college teams are doing better too.
The most exciting game last weekend was the one in the Swamp. Once again a big conference grudge match went into overtime. But I'm still not clear on the overtime rules.
A week ago Oregon had to change kickers each time they tried a field goal in overtime (while USC cheated and kept using the same one). This time Alabama attempted two extra points, but got to use the same kicker each time and he made the second one. I thought after I exposed USC's cheating that 'Bama wouldn't get away with it.
I don't understand this two chances at the extra point rule. I remember during the bad old days in the NBA, when all the players were snorting Tide (at least that's what Corso always calls it), how they used to give them "three to make two" from the free throw line after a certain number of fouls. So I guess now they think kickers are so lousy they get "two to make one" from the extra point line.
What I don't understand is if Alabama got to try the kick twice, why didn't Florida get two chances? Maybe it's because Alabama was in the bonus thanks to all those Florida personal fouls and so they got that break.
I was really surprised that Coach Spurrier wasn't out on the field complaining about that rule though. Instead he just sat there, under that pointy little visor of his, and pouted like he was still playing for Tampa Bay and getting the snot smacked out of him by Dick Butkus.
In other games, Oklahoma took their new Air Sooner attack into South Bend but came out on the short end of the score. Oklahoma throwing the ball all over the place, who would have thought that? Well, throwing the ball forwards that is. We've seen enough of those bad OU pitches on the option the past couple years. But the Sooners passing? Barry Switzer must be rolling over in his grave.
I'm starting to get caught up in the spirit of all these big traditional neutral-site conference matchups we have coming up. We've got the World's Biggest Cocktail Party (that's UF/UGA in Jacksonville), the World's Biggest Tobacco Spitting Contest (that's OU/TU in Dallas), the World's Fewest Teeth per Fan (that's 'Bama/Tennessee in Chattanooga), the World's Biggest Riot Full of Drunk Nekkid Coeds (that's MSU/UM in Hell, Michigan), and the World's Best Display of Plastic Surgery (that's the USC/UCLA Cheerleader Bowl in Santa Monica).
I know I'll be enjoying these matchups while sitting at home with Mom, drinking my mint juleps and turning up the knob on the opium drip. I may even give Mom some pain relievers too.