1999 Week 6
October 14, 1999
The middle of October is when the autumn game becomes the epitome of all that is great about sport. The leaves start turning colors, the sounds of the marching bands fill the air, and John Cooper gets another contract extension.
I'd hate to see what sort of new contract Coop would have gotten had the Bucks beaten Wisconsin two weeks ago. They probably would have made him Governor. Of course there's been talk that John's so popular that he could get elected Governor--of Michigan. That wouldn't be a bad idea, Cooper would do a better job than that publicity-hungry sumo wrestler they now have running the Wolverine State.
Speaking of Wolverines, that was one impressive beating that Lou Saban's Michigan State Chippewas laid on the boys from Ann Arbor. I always said Saban was one of the brightest old codgers in coaching. By the way, don't let the sideline shots fool ya, Lou's wearing a toupee. He does look pretty young for an 80-year-old.
Floyd Carr probably could use a toupee because I think his hair must have started falling out trying to think of ways to cover the explosive Plastique Burress. I predict that Burress will win this year and next year's Heisman Trophy, along with Pulitzer Prize in poetry. Believe it or not, I'm actually on the Pulitzer poetry committee. Here's the poem I voted for last year, I thought it spoke volumes about the DonNehlen State:
"Country Roads, Make Me Moan"
The plotted revenge of the wife
For hubby living the Wheeling wild life
He drove eight hours for relief
To avoid West Virginia grief
Too embarrassed he had to be
For the local doctor to see
What trauma led him to this plan?
The hot curling iron she'd put in his can
----------
Speaking of the Big East, this week we're going to see some truly exciting action. We have the battle of the sophisticates against the bumpkins, as Syracuse goes to visit highly ranked Virginia Tech.
I just hope we don't see those VPI guys looking down the end of their noses at the overall-clad Orangemen. I know that Blacksburg is far classier than the armpit of upstate New York, but these sorts of culture clashes don't do the game of football any good.
Look, the typical group of tobacco drooling fans from Syracuse *does* have an average IQ roughly equal to room temperature, but they're just as important to the game of college football as those fur-coat-wearing martini-drinking folks at Virginia Tech.
That's the beautiful thing about college football, it doesn't matter where you come from or how many teeth you have, we can all enjoy this wonderful sport together. Except for Corso. And Brent, once he's had a few tall ones. Come to think of it, I can't really enjoy this sport with Fowler either. Then there's Bob "Bubby" Griese, don't like him much. Man, I guess there really isn't anyone I can enjoy this sport with. Except Ma. I'll always have Ma.