2000 Week 2
September 4, 2000
It's great for the season to be finally underway. However, I don't understand this new "Monday Night Football" thing. It seems to be a mixture of college and pro ball. I understand having a college team with all the tradition of the United States Military Academy playing in the inaugural Monday Night game, but why would they match them up with a team like Cincinnati?
I checked my NFL schedule and I thought Cincinnati had a bye this week. Besides, the Bengals trounced the last college team they played, the Wisconsin Badgers, so I don't know why Army scheduled them. I never quite understood this Conference USA thing, maybe next week that league will be admitting Cincinnati Moeller.
Speaking of that old high school powerhouse, I understand that JoePa's record chase may actually succeed in spite of PSU's slow start. Four-eyed putz Joe may close in on Gerry Faust's record for the most losses by a team starting at least 10 High School All-Americans.
All I can say about this weekend is "holy Toledo". They had the annual running of the bulls in Toledo Spain and nobody got gored. Then the Toledo Mud Rockets lit up Penn State's tail this weekend better than that little rodent friend of Richard Gere's.
And then Bob Toledo and UCLA beat Alabama. I thought college basketball had a great idea with the pre-season NIT tournament. So I was glad that the Rose Bowl decided to start a new tradition for college football with the first annual pre-season Rose Bowl. I was confused for a while why they invited an ACC team like Alabama, but I guess the Pac 10 thought they'd have a better chance of winning if they weren't playing a Big Ten team. And, what do you know, they were right.
All I know is that the Alabama Tiger fans are going to have to change the words of that fight song "Yee-haw Alabama" to say "remember the pre-season Rose Bowl / we'll get beaten by a 4-7 team then".
Speaking of basketball traditions, last year college hoops featured a bunch of matchups between the ACC and the Big Ten. This year there was a football showdown between the MAC conference and the Big 10, with every Big 10 team playing a MAC opponent. You know, like Penn State vs. Toledo, Wisconsin vs. Western Michigan, and Michigan vs. Bowling Green. It's become a lot easier for the Big 10 since the MAC apparently has expanded to about 30 teams. Until this weekend's MAC/Big 10 challenge, I wasn't aware that the MAC included Fresno State, Louisiana Monroe, Middle Tennessee State, and the Fighting Floaters of the Sam Houston Institute of Technology.
I don't quite understand all the hot water that Bob Davis is in at Notre Dame. Notre Dame had a record crowd this weekend. Bob has sure reversed that empty seat trend that occurred during Lou's final couple of seasons. Of course farewell tours tend to draw big crowds. I remember the crowds during the Glenn Miller farewell tour in the mid-40's. That exciting tour featured stops at New York's Apollo Theatre, Dublin's Roxy Theatre, London's Bard House, and The English Channel Sand Bar.
In other action, LSU sure laid a hurt on Western Kentucky. Normally LSU is like Dracula, they always suck the most at night. Nick Satan seems to have turned things around. The key probably was the "666" patches on the jerseys, not to mention the "WWSD" bracelets the LSU Purple Devils wore. Oh, and the ritual sacrifice of a virgin before each home game is sure to become a hit tradition.
This week's schedule doesn't seem as exciting. Nebraska is at Notre Dame, which means big sales for tee-shirts with slogans like "CATHOLICS vs. CORNVICTS". But other than that it's going to be a slow week, so I think I'm just going to sit back, hook up Mom's ethanol IV, and watch the MTV Video Awards over and over again. I can't get enough of that Christina Spheres. I know what that girl wants and it's right here in Beeno's lap: my remote. As the Pony's brother Rick James would say, "you can't touch this". By the way, has anyone seen the Pony?