2003 Week 11
November 13, 2003
This BS thing is still pretty hard to figure out. Last Saturday I tuned in and watched Oklahoma clobber the Texas Aggies. My good friend Mike Tirico said "that's the worst whipping I've seen since my last trip to Juarez". I didn't even know they played football in Mexico!
In any event, I looked at the BS ratings, and in spite of getting annihilated two times (65-13 and 77-0) by the Sooners, Texas is still in the top 5. Even patsies like Vanderbilt and Nebraska haven't gotten beaten that badly, but you don't see them in the top 5.
One of the biggest upsets of the day occurred in Miami, where the Canes lost to Tennessee 10-6. After the game, there was some controversy about the comments by Kellen Winslow Junior, about how he was a soldier who apparently went AWOL from his ROTC duty. I'm sure Kellen Junior's father, famous sound effect actor Michael Winslow, was pretty embarrassed for him.
One of the best matchups of the day was in Minneapolis, where Coach Hayden Fox's Minnesota Screaming Gophers knocked off the Wisconsin Exploding Parrots on a last second field goal. After the win, the Minnesota players raced over to the sideline for the trophy. It was great to see all the players grabbing at Paul Bunyan's Ass.
Of course the most exciting game for a Pitt boy like me was watching Pittsburgh pull the big upset against Virginia Tech. That Larry Fitzgerald sure put a hurting on the Cavs. I'm just surprised that a fine laddie like Fitzgerald didn't choose to play for his people, the Fighting Irish.
Another big game was Florida State's tank job against Clemson in Bowden Bowel 5 (I must state that I really don't want to see the other Bowden bowels). You just knew that Bobby was throwing this game when he put in the son of that teen idol Fabian into the game at quarterback. I was always a Frankie Avalon man myself. In any event, Bobby can be happy that Terry will keep his job for at least another week.
I must admit that I'm getting really confused by ESPN's programming choices. They removed quality shows like "Breakfast with Beeno" and started a new morning show featuring people wearing more makeup than Tommy Fay Baker.
Last night they showed a high school game from Oxford Ohio. But that was better programming than what they put on the air last weekend, where they showed a Scrabble tournament, followed by a chess game between some Commie from the Soviet Union and a Radio Shack computer. What's next? The spelling bee?
Even worse, during halftime of the chess game they cut to the Gameday studio for commentary. Like my good friend Lee Corso, my good friend Chris Fowler, and my good friend Herb Street don't have enough to talk about already.
Coach Corso: Not so fast my friend. Kasparov is awfully good at castling. Be careful of his rook.
Herb Street: Oh, come on. That rook couldn't even play on the black side of the board for the Buckeyes.
Coach Corso: You're right, you're right, a little rook like that might have a tough time protecting the queen.
Chris Fowler: Huh? I work out, I don't need protection.
Let's hope ESPN straightens all of this out before they really scrape the bottom of the barrel and get stuck showing awful fare like monster truck races or Cleveland Cavaliers games.