2003 Week 5
September 25, 2003
Yesterday I did my weekly ESPN chat session.
As has happened in the past, the ESPN moderators cut in and changed the answers I gave to the questions.
I've been very careful of late to preserve my actual answers to the questions, rather than the amended ones that ESPN provided, so here are my real answers to the questions asked me in this week's ESPN chat:
Ben (Libertyville, IL): Who are the contenders and pretenders in the Big Ten or is it pretty much wide open to everyone other than Indiana and Northwestern?
Beeno: The Big Ten is a conference for major state-sponsored public schools. Private schools that join the Big Ten are the biggest pretenders around. So drop Northwestern and Purdue and add a public school like Miami.
James (Knoxville, TN): Is Purdue going to manhandle Notre Dame?
Beeno: That's a visual I could do without.
Mike (PA): Should Iowa expect anything from Michigan State?
Beeno: Iowa should expect burning couches and players snorting up the chalk marks.
jim (hartford ct): Beeno - to follow up on your comment on Notre Dame and its academic standards - don't you think they have a backdoor to get the marginal kids in?
Beeno: Ara told me that Notre Dame's got several backdoors in the seminary.
Matt (Tallahassee): Beeno, what do you think of the Seminoles?
Beeno: They're one of my favorite tribes, right up there with the Sue and the ones who run that casino on Lake Ontario. Great one-deck blackjack up there, though it's tough to count cards when the cocktails and double vision kick in.
Rob from Dallas, TX: Beeno, surprised me that some of the experts thought BC could hang with Miami; as everyone should know by now, the brighter the lights, the better Miami plays. And will you please just not ever talk about ND again?!?
Beeno: I think North Dakota has a fine football program and I'll continue to talk about them all I want, thank you very much.
Paul (wichita, ks): Do you think, Snyder should have played Roberson in the Marshall game?
Beeno: Depends on what they were playing. Checkers? Parcheesi? Ookie Cookie? And why were they doing this in the middle of a football game?
Billy (Ada,OK): Beeno, Help the fans in Oklahoma settle an argument! Which was more impressive OU's Antonio Perkins and his 2 punt return NCAA Records vs UCLA or......OSU's Rashaun Woods with 7 td receptions vs SMU?
Beeno: The most impressive thing in Oklahoma was Barry Switzer managing to win a Super Bowl while running the wishbone.
Jason: Now that Michigan has lost a game, and knowing you picked them to go to the Sugar Bowl, do you think they still have a reasonable chance to get there?
Beeno: If they charter a plane on January 2nd from Orlando to New Orleans, I'm sure the Wolverines can get to the Sugar Bowl in plenty of time.
Sarah (WI): Beeno, I miss you on Saturday nights. What should we expect from tomorrow night's Huskers-Southern Miss game?
Beeno: Refresh my memory, Sarah. What exactly were you doing to me on Saturday nights, and why can't I remember any of it?
Chris - syracuse NY: Hello Beeno - Is Walter Reyes the best RB that noone has ever heard of? If and that is a big if, he continues his torrid pace of 170 yards a game, a darkhorse for the heisman? He's Clarett's cousin so running is in the genes.
Beeno: If he's Marcy Clarett's cousin, I'd hazard a guess that it's not running that's in his genes. More like schizophrenia.
Travis (Eugene, OR): Beeno, who do you like . . . Ducks or Cougs?
Beeno: Ducks. Unlike cougars, ducks never bit through my cousin Jimmy Boono's hand when he was trying to do bad things to them.
Ted (Austin): Beeno...Texans in Austin are starting to get nervous. We could potentially lose 3 or 4 more games. If we do, we will see a new coach next year?
Beeno: I think some of you fans need to settle down. While a bad season is a disappointment, tarring and feathering is not the answer.
Keith(St. Petersburg): Beeno, Is Clarett's suit going to spell the end of college football as we know it and down the path of college basketball?
Beeno: That suit was pretty outrageous. Orange doesn't look good on Marcy, so, yes, he is sending us down the path blazed by some of those college basketball players who wear horrible fashions at the NBA draft.
Woody (Rocky River, OH): Beeno who are the most likely schools that will be added to the Big East and will they be of high enough quality to help the Big East maintain BCS bid?
Beeno: If the remaining schools in the Big East want to improve their conference's strength and reputation, I'd suggest adding some teams from your neck of the woods, like Cleveland St. Ignatius and Massillon.
Mike (Philly): how do you expect florida to rebound considering they are starting leak in an SEC road game?
Beeno: I think Florida started leaking in the 4th quarter against the Canes.
Hokieman (Roanoke, VA): Beano, thanks for taking so many questions, how bout a hokie question. Have you ever seen such fan turnout in a hurricane?
Beeno: The Virginia Hokies should be proud of their turnout during hurricanes, but it's not the first time. Don't forget, just a couple years ago you had a big turnout during a hurricane. That was the day that God smote down my good friend Lee Corso by striking his car with lightning, giving Lee his famous frizzy hairdo.
HCM (Bend, OR): With all the parity in college football, how do you define an "Upset"?
Beeno: When Brent Musburger shows up to broadcast a game, downs a couple fifths of cognac, and is still coherent by halftime, that's what I'd call an upset.