2005 Week 1
September 8, 2005
It's been a long time coming, almost as long as my current 40 time, but college football is finally here.
There have been a lot of changes to the game we all love since the end of last season. Some of the biggest changes came in the Big East Conference, which last year looked to be disintegrating, what with Syracuse and Boston U going to the ACC and Miami rejoining the MAC.
The leaders of the Big East obviously had to do something to get some qualified football teams, so they tried something a bit unusual with Cincinnati. I'm not so sure about that. The Big East will be weaker with the Bengals.
Even worse is the Big East adding the St Louisville Cardinals. Baseball is a far different sport from football, the only banjo hitters in football are the field goal kickers, and even one of the Grammartica brothers could beat the hell out of a typical shortstop. Furthermore, with all the new baseball steroid regulations, these baseball players will no longer be strong enough to play a full season of college football.
But even a bastardized version of college football is better than nothing.
First off, I would like to congratulate Coach John Mackovic Brown for finally getting that monkey off his back, as the heathens from Oklahoma were upended by those Christian boys from Texas. That's as big a win as Austin's Aggies have had in years. I'm sure Coach Switzer is really embarrassed about his team's performance.
Notre Dame scheduled an unusual opener, at Heinz Ward Field, against Pittsburgh. The Irish really smacked the hell out of the Steelers on their home turf. I don't keep up much with the NFL, but I was surprised that Dave Wannstedt had replaced the Human Chin as coach.
Meanwhile, on the Irish sideline, there were a major changes in coaches. Coach Ty Dillingham's spent the off-season getting out of that scrawny mode and turned himself into a fire-breathing no-nonsense Woody Hayes type coach. He probably doubled his weight. I half-expected to see Princess Lea Durocher in her leather bikini chained to him.
I can't understand why someone would appear on TV looking that bloated.
The MAC conference renewed its MAC/Big 10 challenge, with MAC teams getting smacked around by the likes of Ohio State, Iowa, Michigan State, and newest Big 10 member Virginia.
There were some big conference showdowns to open up the season: Tennessee narrowly beat Alabama to take the early lead in the SEC West. I guess the folks down south are using that old Julia calendar where the third Saturday in October is around Labor Day. Florida State won a tight one to get off to a good start in the SEC South.
So we're off and running with the new season. Personally I'm ready to sit back, adjust my Stoli drip, and get my cath going so I won't have to stand up for the next 3 months.