2006 Week 1

September 29, 2006

Sorry about the delay, but I've been out of it for a while. I spent most of the summer trying a new adventure, paddling my way across the North Atlantic. Coach Woody Hayes once told me "if you're going to fight in the North Atlantic you've got to train in the North Atlantic" so I took him at his word.

Unfortunately, in late July, about 800 miles into my trip, this boat ambled alongside me with these Japanese gents on board. One moment I was doing the backstroke, then the next thing I knew, I was dodging harpoons. One of the harpoons caught me in the neck. Fortunately there's about 5 inches of loose skin there, so it didn't do much damage.

But there was an infection problem so I was laid up throughout August and most of September until the germs cleared up.

I was a bit shocked and chagrined to learn that ESPN had still been running my chats while I was in the hospital. I can guarantee you that those weren't my real answers. I certainly wouldn't have gone through an entire four weeks of chats without mentioning the Song Girls, that's for sure.

This week I did make it to my ESPN chat, but once again ESPN substituted fake answers instead of what I really wrote. Here's my actual responses to the questions that were asked:

Rod (Boynton Beach)FL: Beeno: Is it safe to say that the problems at Miami is a direct reflection of Coker's inability to recurit? Did he win the national championship with Davis recurits?

Beeno: I think it's safe to say that Coach Coker didn't win the national title with Bob Davis's recruits at Notre Dame.

Dave, San Diego: how do we see the ducks doing on the road the next two weeks?

Beeno: I always speed up in my Lincoln when I see ducks on the road. Rats with wings, that's what I call 'em.

James (Louisville KY): Do you think Louisville has a chance at the BCS if they lose to West Virginia

Beeno: This year's Western Virginia squad is one of the top teams I've ever seen in the Thomas Jefferson state.

russell neal:(peoria,Il): If michigan,usc,auburn,westvirginia, win out who plays for the national championship.

Beeno: Notre Dame and Penn State.

Laura (Va): Beeno, Give me the top home field advantages in college football. Lane Stadium has to be on your list.

Beeno: My top home field advantages are LSU during the day, because they're like Dracula, they suck at night. And Penn State because they have a port-a-john on the sideline for JoePa's use.

Stephen (Red Bluff, CA): Hi Beeno!...Last week, you wrote that Cal had a lot of ground to make up the embarrasing Tennessee loss. Can Cal make back into the good graces of the national media?

Beeno: I don't follow baseball that closely, so wasn't aware that Cal Ripkin was having publicity problems. Perhaps, before his next commercial, he should lose some weight. It's embarrassing to see someone on TV who looks that bloated.

Jamie (Kirkland, WA): Beeno, Early impressions on Ty's job at Washington, is the program really turning around or have they just been lucky this year. Cheers,

Beeno: Ty Dillingham has done a mighty fine job with Washington this season. I forecast some big January post-season games for the Redskins.

Jesse (Colorado Springs): Does OU have a shot for the national title IF they beat texas soundly and win the rest of the season? Will the voters take into account the Oregon fiasco

Beeno: I hadn't heard that Coach Oregon had gotten into trouble at Ole Miss. I'm sorry to hear that.

Will, Atlanta: LSU 45, Arizona 7. Southern Cal 20, Arizona 3. Auburn 7, LSU 3. Tell me again why Southern Cal ought to be ranked ahead of Auburn...?

Beeno: Auburn doesn't have Song Girls.

a.f. (WDC): hey beeno, what do you think of the news that jack nicklaus is dotting the "i" at the osu-minnesota game? any advice for him?

Beeno: When dotting the eye always give the girl a heads-up.

Jim (Morgantown, WV): Notre Dame on your list of top 5 home field advantages? Doesn't a team have to win big games at home to be on your list? There are other teams than Notre Dame, you know.

Beeno: There are?

Ron,Woodbridge,NJ: What is up with Maryland? I know they are 3-1, but there wins are against much smaller schools. Is or should Coach Friegden be on the hot seat?

Beeno: Coach Fridge was on the hot seat, but then it broke.

kj, kent, oh: is brady quinn, with 5 TD's, back in the heisman race? a look at his numbers this year to last actually are about the same...

Beeno: I predict Tom Brady's kid brother Quinn will win this year's Heisman. And if it's true that his numbers last year are the same as this year's, then I predict he will win last year's Heisman too.

mark (arkansas): hey beenO should i send flowers or balloons to alabama's kicker? Maybe both, huh?? wooo pig!!!!

Beeno: Send balloons. Flowers don't grow very well in tar and feathers.

tim (columbus,Oh): Beeno, I wouldnt start calling Notre Dame that tough just yet, Msu melted down and Purdue will beat them this week. Bottom Line middle of the road big ten team.

Beeno: I knew I missed some things while convalescing, but I'm a bit surprised to learn that the Irish joined the Big 10.

Mike (Bristol,Ct): Hey Beeno, does Adrian Peterson win the heisman this year if he keeps up the pace he's on? Also out of all the backs this year which translates to the best pro style back?

Beeno: My good friend Herb Street says that the best pro style back belongs to someone named Jay Low.

joe .okc ok: whats your lock this week?

Beeno: My lock is on the Beeno vs. Johnny Walker over-under of one fifth. Take the over.

steve (davenport, ia): hey lets have a chat and not even mention the biggest game of the weekend! Great idea

Beeno: I'm sorry. Good luck to the Sam Houston Institute of Technology in their tussle with Florida Undergraduate College.