2008 Week 6
October 9, 2008
I had my weekly ESPN chat session yesterday. Once again, for some reason, ESPN changed my responses to the questions I was asked. Here are my actual responses to the questions:
Alan (Shreveport, LA): Why is Charles Scott listed on a lot Heisman lists and Evan Royster is not?
Beeno: I didn't know that there was a Howard Heisman list. I really liked that show WCRP In Cleveland. Did you know that Loni Anderson was a Song Girl?
Joey - St. Louis: Beeno, I have been reading your chats and listening to your podcasts for the last couple weeks, and you have been hating on Mizzou. Did this past week's win give you any more respect for the Tigers?
Beeno: There you go making up words again. Podcast and Mizzou. I can't say I respect the Tigers, not since they stole Jim Leyland from my Pirates.
Miedler (Cleveland, OH): Beeno, can you believe the Miami Hurricanes are in sole possession of last place in the ACC and looking up to Duke?
Beeno: I agree, this is difficult to believe given that Miami is in the SEC.
Tyler (Panama City, FL): Beeno, I know it is early, but with the way Florida State's defense is playing and the offense improving every week, do you think they can beat Florida and their one dimensional offense at the end of the year?
Beeno: Doubtful. Last time I checked football was played on a 2 dimensional surface.
Matt (Savannah, GA): Paul Johnson is doing a hell of a job at GT so far. Do you see them winning 9 games?
Beeno: I suspect you'll see 22-23 wins out of the Hoyas this year.
Chad (Savannah, GA): Beeno, you have now lived through 2 depressions. Which one is worse?
Beeno: Actually, I have about 30 depressions on my lower torso alone. It depends on which chair I'm sitting in and whether the recliner is back.
Matt (Tulsa, OK): Is there a defense in the nation that can slow down either Missouri or Oklahoma and who would it be?
Beeno: The First Armored Division could do it. That's a Big Red defense that could put the Huskers to shame.
Mike (Mission Viejo, ca): Is there a reason you never pick USC, considering they have finshed no worse than 4th the last 6 years?
Beeno: I think finishing fourth in the SEC North is nothing to brag about, especially for Visor Boy.
Travis (Golden, CO): Beeno -- Ricky-Jean Francois had some choice words about how hard he would like to hit Tim Tebow in the game. Isn't every defensive tackle in the game trying to get a lick on the opposing quarterback?
Beeno: I'm really bothered to read that football has gotten so soft that French guys want to lick quarterbacks. You know what they say about the French? They squash grapes with their feet and make babies with their face? I'll have to rethink things, maybe the SEC is the softest conference in the land.
Nelson (DE): Which is harder to believe: Vanderbilt at 5-0 or the Rays in the ALCS?
Beeno: Lou Gehrig's Disease is nothing to laugh about.
Brad (Gadsden,Alabama): Beeno, will Alabama run the table?
Beeno: Hell, even I can run the table. We talking Thanksgiving or Christmas?
Colt-Texas: How good is Colt McCoy?
Beeno: He's good, but he's no Jim Bob Cooter.
Donald D (Eugene, OR): Is it a coincidence that UW hasn't been any good since 'Fraizer' went off the air? Who will be coaching the Huskies next year?
Beeno: I didn't think Yukon needed a new coach. And why was there a TV show about Tommie Frazier?
Brett (Happy Valley): How do you see Penn State doing in Camp Randall Saturday night?
Beeno: If you take JoePa's boys to a place like Camp Randall on the weekend, the over-under for the camping trip is three felony arrests.
Michael (Charleston, SC): I really like the way my Heels are playing of late and thus I think they'll take care of the Irish at home this weekend. I expect that you, as an Irish loyalist, may think otherwise. How do you see this one playing out?
Beeno: I'm not particularly loyal to the Irish. Bunch of foul-mouthed yobs. The Scots are my people, especially because of the way they got screwed by the Brits.
Glenn (Denver, CO): What is the possibility of changing the USA TODAY poll voters to retired coaches & players who have more time to watch the games every week?
Beeno: I actually started a poll like this, but I was the only one who bothered to vote in it. Congratulations to the 2007 Beeno National Champions, the Song Girls.
dan (wakefield,ma): what is your favorite "Seinfeld" episode, Beeno?
Beeno: The one where they pile into a sedan and get crushed by a train.
Mike Johnson (Findlay OH): Is there any possible chance that T.P. can lead Ohio State into a third straight BS title game appearance?
Beeno: Now let me tell you something about being at Ohio State. You need to take a break at the Horseshoe, you hit the facilities, and after you've done your business you reach over. And all they have is that single ply junk. That entire state has the cheapest, flimsiest T.P. around. And believe me, it's gooey when wet and next to impossible to get off your shoe. No wonder why my good friend Herb Street is always prancing around in spike heels, less surface area for the T.P. to stick to.
Cosmo (Anytown, USA): Were you alive the last time Notre Dame won a bowel game?
Beeno: Alive, but not awake.
Travis (Golden, CO): Has Clausen really gotten that much better?
Beeno: I prefer Vlasic, their pickles don't need to get any better.
Josh (Shinnston, WV): Do you think certain schools gets better poll positions after they lose?
Beeno: I would prefer to be in the second or third lines in the Indy 500, not right at the front.
Brandon (Raleigh, NC): Let's talk about the hot coaches and their next gigs.
Beeno: I wasn't aware that there are coaches working at the Million Dollar Saloon.
Sean (Phoenix, AZ): Do you think that Lane Kiffen will coach the Washington Huskies next year?
Beeno: I think you are confused. Ty Dillingham is doing a fine job there.
Dustin Stillwater,OK: OSU-Missouri is being played on ESPN2, that's like a slap in the face for these two programs. What do you think?
Beeno: At least it didn't get punted to the Big Ten Network. Missouri is a good fit in that league.