2010 Week 2
September 16, 2010
Yesterday I had my chat session on ESPN. Once again they replaced my actual responses with fake answers. Below are my actual answers to the questions posed to me.
Hammer (Miami): Beeno, I know I'm early but do the Canes have a chance against Pitt?
Beeno Cook: I'd go with Pittsburgh, but I'm not sure--I don't follow exhibition hockey too closely
alan (sc): Who has been the most impressive team thusfar in this young college football season?
Beeno Cook: Normally I would say USC as they split their squad last week and won games on both coasts. But I was a bit disappointed that they only had the Song Girls at the game in Westwood.
Newman (NY Postoffice): Hello Beeno. Who's on upset alert this weekend? Jambalaya!!!!
Beeno Cook: You're right - Cajun food does give me gas. After the pregame dinner I ate last weekend, I thought the upset alert was going to be me.
Ralph (Pittsburgh): hey Beeno, what are your thoughts on the LSU QB situation? They are looking good on D and have serious skill position talent, but Jefferson is an anchor around their necks.
Beeno Cook: Jefferson was a pretty good President, but I think he's a bit old to be under center.
James (Lawrence): Beeno! Is Kansas now a contender in the North?
Beeno Cook: With all that conference realignment, I'm surprised I didn't learn about the new North conference. I think that the Confederates won't want them either.
Matt (MA): Was that Joe Montana's son playing QB for ND last weekend? lol, was he adopted?
Beeno Cook: Joe was always one of my favorites. He's the best player named for a state, him and Ontario Smith.
James (Ann Arbor, MU): How long do you think Michigan's quarterback Robinson can put up these statistics?
Beeno Cook: I saw my good friend Lee Corso saying that the Michigan quarterback was "special", at least that's what it sounded like, it's tough to understand Lee these days. But I was a bit surprised to hear Lee say the QB's name was "Dotard Robinson". Michigan must be getting pretty desperate to be getting its players off the short bus. And Mrs Robinson should have known better not to get pregnant after age 45.
Nick (Denver): Beeno, what is your cure for a hangover, and could you give it to VaTech?
Beeno Cook: My cure is for a hangover is a fifth of Jim Beam. Hair of the dog? I go for the whole tail. And why would I want to give VaTech a hangover? I think they hurt enough for all of us.
Lynn (Monticello, FL): Good afternoon Mr. Cook, my question is will the Big 12 conference add to more programs to bring the conference number of schools to 12 and if so what 2 schools would they be.
Beeno Cook: This new math really is tough. 12 + 2 = 12? I had enough trouble learning that the Pac 8 is actually 12 schools.
Matt (CA): Beeno, Please discuss this Bush Heisman.
Beeno Cook: I remember before the AVA's were created, they used to hand out the Bush Heisman. Now that everyone likes to go brazilian, a name change was in order.
frank beamer (blacksburg): am i on the hot seat?
Beeno Cook: I tell you, Coach Beamer, that Wendy's chili can lead to some nasty outcomes at times. Hope you feel better.
Joe (IN): What's the best matchup this weekend?
Beeno Cook: Iowa vs. Arizona, Nebraska vs. Washington and my good friend Mike Tirico vs his restraining order.
Bryant (Los Angeles): Who wins between the Hogs and Dawgs in Athens?
Beeno Cook: I watched this beagle down the street start humping a kitty. I told my good friend Herb Street about it, he said that the sorority girls at OSU call it Greek style, so I'm thinking the dogs will win in Athens.
Lionel (Virginia Beach): Is Florida on upset alert this weekend?
Beeno Cook: Anything is possible but I'd be surprised if Tennessee won. But like my good friend Chris Berman says "have you ever seen a fat man naked?"
Bill Stewart (Morgantown, WV): What would the old gold and blue faithful done to me if I had lost the Marshall game?
Beeno Cook: Every coach in Morgantown was on alert that night. And the goats and sheep were last seen heading to the hills.
Brett (Columbus): Admit it...Bobby Bowden would have won that game @ Oklahoma
Beeno Cook: Did the Noles forget to bring Coach Bowden to the game?
Matt (MA): Beeno, will we ever see you on TV again? Really miss your segments.
Beeno Cook: I'm working on a chin lift to help fit me on the screen. You'd be surprised - even with these new HD widescreen TVs, I still can scare small children.
Hayden (Logan, Utah): Do you like the BCS?
Beeno Cook: Which conference is that?
Ryan (Medford, OR): Beeno, What are your thoughts on Oregon? DO they have a chance to go all the way? Contenders or Pretenders?
Beeno Cook: I sure like that Chris Hind guy, he's a good singer.