2012 Week 11
November 19, 2012
This was one of the wildest weeks of football I can remember. Upsets galore and a total rewrite of the BS rankings. Suddenly it's 1973 all over again and Notre Dame is #1 and Alabama is #2. We'd all given up on the Tide just a week earlier after they got schooled by Jimmy Football, but Nick Satan worked some black magic and they're back in the driver's seat again. He is a crafty one.
Kansas City State had a really poor performance against Baylor. I haven't seen group of 100 go down in flames like that in Waco since the Branch Davidians.
Meanwhile, Oregon's high flying offense totally cratered against Stanford's stout defense. That O-line got dominated. I haven't seen a group of Beavers so lifeless since that Golden Girls porno.
Notre Dame had little trouble with Wake Forest and vaulted into the top spot.
The SEC apparently decided to take a week off from conference play, instead their teams paired off with weak sister programs. So Alabama crushed expansion state Western Carolina, Georgia knocked off Georgia Southern, Kentucky plowed Samford, and Texas A&M beat the Dan Rather's alma mater, the Sam Houston Institute of Technology. The Horns really splattered S.H.I.T.
Those weren't the only cupcake games for SEC teams against lousy opponents. South Carolina battered Wofford, LSU came from behind against Mississippi College, Vanderbilt bombed Tennessee Tech, and Florida shut out the Jacksonville Jaguars.
In the Midwest the Ohio State Buckeyes knocked off Wisconsin in overtime 21-14 to remain undefeated. The Big Ten made even more news yesterday when it was announced that Maryland will be leaving the ACC to join the Big Ten, soon to be followed by Rutgers. The Big Ten's move to grab an ACC team seems to be a slap at a major program that just left Big East affiliation, spurned the Big Ten, and joined the ACC. Yes, I'm sure my Pitt Panthers are pretty annoyed right now. And I bet Iowa State is regretting its decision to leave the Big Eight to join a league that now has a team in New Jersey.
Finally, I want to express my concern about my good friend Lee Corso. First off, he called a five-year-old kid a "midget". It's not the kid's fault that he's short for his age.
You may have also seen the video where Coach Corso picked Miami to beat South Florida, put on an Ibis head, scared the hell out of my good friend Herb Street, danced with some Oklahoma cheerleaders, and tried to strangle a bird.
Coach, I know you're a bit mixed up these days. It happens to all of us. Even up here looking down I'm still kind of discombobulated and I've been here for a whole month. But please don't take it literally when someone suggests that you choke your chicken. And don't take "choke your chicken" figuratively either. Nobody wants to see that live on ESPN, it was bad enough when you did it under the desk on the Gameday set in Bristol.