2012 Week 8
October 31, 2012
Well, as you probably heard, I made a bit of a transition a couple weeks ago.
Moving to the great beyond isn't as bad as it seems, I'm quite comfortable and have re-connected with a lot of old friends.
The initial encounter was a bit nerve-wracking at first. In my last column for you, just before I departed the earth, I recalled a story about the late Alex Karras and the late George Plimpton that involved cross-dressing.
So who do I run into first thing up here? Mr. Karras and Mr. Plimpton.
Alex said "Beeno, I really didn't enjoy revisiting that whole story about me, Monte Clark, and this wussie limey over here". I got nervous because Alex is a big guy.
Then he and George smiled and Alex said "just messin' with ya, C'mon in, I'll show you around".
To settle one thing, no, we don't get to meet the big guy in person. And we don't know the results of sporting events before they happen. So we get to watch the games just like you guys do. And, believe me, watching the games on the biggest screen you've ever seen is fun. This thing makes the Jerry's World big screen look like a 12-inch black and white TV set.
Not everybody is paying full attention. Coach Rockne and Coach Yost spend most days just yelling at each other, then they break out the bocce balls and take turns lobbing them into each other's lap in a game they call "ball buster". Coaches Bryant and Hayes have become good friends (yes, Woody made it upstairs) and apparently prefer to watch "ALF" reruns instead of football.
The biggest game of the week took place in Norman, as Notre Dame stuck it to the Sooners in a 30-13 victory. Coach B Kelly celebrated with his customary postgame golden dome shower
That's the nice thing about being up here, we get to see everything, camera or no camera. And in high-definition. By the way Coach Corso, please get your Justin Bieber posters laminated.
There was quite the battle in the SEC North, as Visor Boy's South Carolina Cocks blocked Tennessee, 38-35. South Carolina's superstar Marcus Lattimore suffered a very gruesome leg injury. I haven't seen a bad break like that since the Big Bopper got the last seat on Buddy Holly's plane. Speaking of the Bopper, there is a nightclub up here but he's the only guy who shows up, he just repeatedly sings his greatest hit. I'm already tired of it.
In the Big Ten probation bowel, Ohio State knocked off Penn State. The Big Ten is pretty weak this year, I looked and the first place Buckeyes aren't even ranked in the coaches' poll. Elsewhere Nebraska pulled away from Michigan and the Michigan State Fighting Chippewas beat Wisconsin in overtime.
One of the big upsets of the day was Arizona knocking off Southern Cal. Trojan head coach Monte Kiffin has got to be concerned for his job.
At the second largest cocktail party, Georgia upended #2 rated Florida on the Gators' home turf in the FU Gator Bowel.
The biggest cocktail party is going to be my official welcome party in a couple weeks.
I'd invite you all to come, but you have to move beyond the mortal coil to get here, and you probably don't want to rush into that.
This Saturday we've got some of the biggest matchups of the season -- Oregon at USC, Alabama at LSU, and Louisiana-Lafayette at Louisiana-Monroe. Talk to you next week.