2013 Week 14
December 4, 2013
Whoa Nellie, was there some great college football played last weekend or what!
Now I had one of the great pleasures of watching Saturday's action with some coaching legends. That's the nice thing about being up here, becoming reacquainted with some of the greats.
So Saturday I was privileged to watch Ohio State vs Michigan and Auburn vs. Alabama doubleheader with Coaches Bryant, Jordan, Schnellenberger, and Hayes. Let me tell you, for two alleged old friends, coaches Bo and Woody were yelling at each other the entire game. And that was during the Auburn vs. Alabama game. During the game in Ann Arbor they combined yelling with hitting each other over the head with chairs.
Bear and Shug are a bit more mellow. They'd calmly talk to each other in their slow drawls, sounding like the finest southern gentlemen. That is, until you heard what they were saying. I wasn't aware that Mrs. Bryant performed so many interesting services for soldiers at the Tuscaloosa train station.
The games themselves were pretty entertaining too. Ohio State held off Michigan 42-41. I haven't seen an on-campus shootout like that since Charles Whitman.
Now I'm still a bit confused about these overtime rules. I thought you have to go for two points in the third overtime, but Ohio State kicked before Michigan went for two. Then again, as Woody once famously complained, "they wouldn't let us go for three", so maybe it was a field goal.
The game at Auburn came down to overtime as well. I'm guessing that the SEC has now adopted professional football rules to go with their salary schedule. So Alabama tried to win the game with a field goal. The Auburn coaches, familiar with the Canadian professional rules, told their player to run the ball out of the end zone to avoid what would have been a game-winning rouge for the Tide.
Everyone relaxed once Auburn got past the goal line but the Tigers then ran it all the way back for a game-winning two-point rouge, called a "tooge". He's famous for his attention to detail, but Alabama coach Nick Satan's head appeared to spin all the way around after the Tide's on-field flub. He was so shocked that he was almost stampeded by the Auburn players who raced to the Bama sideline to hoist that most famous of medical devices, the Iron Bowel.
There were a lot of other exciting games played over the weekend as well. One of the best was in the Magnolia State, as Mississippi State held off Ole Southern Miss in overtime, 17-10, to maintain possession of the Egg Bowel.
The magnificent season of the Duke Blue Devils continued as they got a late field goal to beat archrival North Carolina, 27-25. The Devils will now play for the expanded ACC's championship against new league member Fresno State.
Oregon scored in the closing minutes to defeat their archrival, the Oregon State Ducks. While they had a couple disappointing late season losses to Stanford and Arizona, there's nobody who can do a spread like the Beavers.
Missouri knocked off new conference rival Texas A&M. Apparently the Big 8 expanded to add the A&M Horns, who have left behind the Southwest Conference and archrival Texas.
There were a number of rivalry trophies awarded too. UCLA stomped on USC and Coach Ogre to maintain possession of the Cheerleader Bowel. Notre Dame came up short against Stanford in the Battle for the Number Two Pencil. And Iowa rolled over Nebraska to take the Golden Corncob.
Next week it's conference championship time. I can hardly wait.