2014 Week 9
October 29, 2014
I was glad to see the first BS rankings finally came out last night.
Now in the past they'd name the top two teams then they'd play the last weekend in October. They named Nebraska and Oklahoma #1 and #2 in the first couple BS rankings, then they'd play that weekend and we'd have our BS national champ so we'd be done with that and could get on with the non-BS part of the college football schedule.
This year they're talking about four teams being in and #3 Auburn travels to #4 Ole Southern Miss, which I guess is an elimination game. So apparently they're going to drag this out for a couple more weeks before we name a BS champion and get back to regular college football.
I was pretty excited to see that traditional Third Saturday in October matchup between the Crimson Tide and the Volunteers up in Knashville, won by Nick Satan's squad. Then I noticed that the game was played on October 25th, which would be the fourth Saturday in October. Maybe the SEC has adopted the 10-day metric week or something.
The most painful matchup of the week took place in the SWC, as Texas Tech got gobblesmacked by the Texas Christian Horny Toads, 82-27. I haven't seen a bunch of Raiders get beat like that since Al Davis took his boys across the bay to Madame Ovary's House of Whore-rers.
Another Loan Star State team had a tough go of it too, as North Texas lost at Rhode Island Continuing Education, 41-21. They had a long flight home from Providence after the shellacking by R.I.C.E.
The University of Texas at Houston did have a fine effort as they upset the Southern Cal Trojans, 24-21.
Out West Oregon outscored the Cal Golden Hippies 59-41. The Beavers remain alive in the Pac-8 race. Elsewhere in that league, there were two key non-conference tilts: UCLA beat Colorado in overtime and Washington lost to WAC power Arizona State.
The Big Ten had some good games as well. Illinois donned Grey Goose Vodka-themed uniforms in honor of the Galloping Goose, Red Granger, and beat Minnesota. Ohio State had a tight win at Penn State in overtime.
Of course some of the biggest contests were in the SEC. Mississippi State won a high scoring battle in Kentucky. And LSU held off Ole Southern Miss 10-7. Now I'm still a bit confused about these overtime rules. LSU went first and kicked a field goal, but Ole Southern Miss apparently wasn't allowed to kick a field goal so had to go for the win and the pass was intercepted.
One of the big controversies of the week took place in Michigan, as the Michigan State Fighting Chippewas stuck it to the visiting Wolverines, 35-11. The hosts were fired up because, before the game, the Michigan players unveiled a spike and pounded it into the turf. Unfortunately, the Wolverines took the nickname of the Fighting Chippewa mascot literally and ended up using the spike to impale the unfortunate mascot "Spikey". So you could understand why Michigan State was angry.
Impaling mascots before games isn't very common, but there was one other legendary incident years ago.
It all started when Florida State Women's College recruited cross-dressers like Burt Reynolds and Coach Corso to start a football team and scheduled the University of Florida. The Florida players didn't think much of FSU's chances and were very vocal about it, talking a lot of trash as the FSU team walked across campus to the stadium.
So Burt retaliated by grabbing a javelin from the UF track facility. He then stuck it through Florida's gator mascot as the poor alligator wandered the sideline. This incident inspired FSU's longstanding gameday entrance, with a javelin tossing mascot, Oscar, and his mule, Retrograde.
After the initial gator impaling, Burt then stumbled to the ground so the alligator retaliated by chomping Burt's head and biting off most of his hair, which is why Burt wore a toupee throughout his movie career.
And now you know the rest of the story.