2015 Week 3
September 30, 2015
Well, after the surgery my plumbing is all back in order again. As I always say, belches up and gases down. Yes, there is flatulence in heaven, though it usually smells like Brut for Men. That's why I had to get my system fixed, my good friend Roone Arledge was breaking out in hives every night after I ate beans.
So while I missed the action a week and a half ago, I had plenty of recovery time to sit around and watch the games last Saturday.
First off, I'd like to congratulate my daughter, Beth Cook, as she scored more than three times as often as her archrival Savannah, 42-12. I wanted to watch the telecast of the match but up here they frown on that girl on girl stuff.
The Fighting Frogs of La Tech pulled away from Florida International. If they keep winning, those La Tech beret helmets may become a fashion plate.
Speaking of foreign entanglements, the Navel Academy sailed up to the Arctic and bested Yukon. Their sister school, Seaman U, didn't fare as well, losing to the Michigan State Fighting Chippewas 30-10.
Maryland continued its struggles, getting blown out by Western Virginia, 45-6. The ACC may be a tough road for the Twerps. Meanwhile, the Mountain Men may have the finest team in the old Commonwealth this year.
Notre Dame bested U-Mass 62-27 in a matchup of top Catholic schools.
The most exciting game in the SEC involved two old rivals, as Florida hit a 63 yard touchdown pass with a minute left to nose out Tennessee, 28-27.
The Iowa Huckeyes blew out North Texas. I'm sure coach Hayden Fox had mixed emotions beating his old Lone Star State school.
There was a lot of exciting action out west. In Eugene, the University of Texas at Houston annihilated Oregon 62-20. I haven't seen a bunch of Texans pound beavers like that since Howard Hughes' annual excursion to Pahrump Nevada.
Meanwhile, cross-state rival Oregon State had a tough time against Stanford, losing 42-24.
The State of Arizona fared about as badly as Oregon. USC won big over Arizona State and UCLA posted 56 points on Arizona. It just goes to show that those LA powerhouses are tough matchups for the WAC.
Some of the most exciting action involved Lone Star State teams. Baylor had little trouble with Rhode Island Continuing Education, posting a 70-17 victory over R.I.C.E. Texas A&M won a tight one over R Kansas to take an early lead in the Southwest Conference race.
Oklahoma State went down to Austin and kicked a field goal to beat Texas 30-27. Now I'm still a bit confused by these overtime rules. Texas went first and for some reason decided to punt - and their punter was from Oz so punted with his wrong foot from behind a curtain. You can't score on punts unless you're playing that weird Canadian football and get a rouge. So Okie State just kicked an easy field goal for the win.
Meanwhile, in the most exciting game of the day, TCU nosed out Texas Tech. Tech kicked a field goal to take a 52-49 lead in overtime, then TCU risked it all on 4th down and won on a tipped pass touchdown, 55-52.
And now September is in the books and we're on to October and we'll get deep into conference play. I can hardly wait for next week's games, like Alabama vs. Georgia in the SEC, Iowa vs. Wisconsin in the Big Ten, and Miami vs. Cincinnati in the AFC South.