2015 Week 8
November 4, 2015
Last Sunday was my favorite day of the year. The leaves turn colors, the calendar goes to November, and, finally, the baseball season is over. Congratulations to Kansas City State. At least the press, both on earth and in the heavenly realm, will stop talking so much about baseball. I'm going to drop kick the next bozo up here who starts counting down the days until pitchers and catchers report. You're on notice, Red Smith.
There was some great offensive action last weekend. One of the highlights was the non-conference battle between Oklahoma State and the Texas Tech Red Raiders, won by Oklahoma State 70-53. Now I'm not sure why they're playing college basketball so early this year. And Tech needs to toughen up that defense, Colonel Bob Knight isn't getting the job done anymore.
The wildest ending occurred in Durham, where Miami threw about 15 laterals, had 13 or so players on the field, and took several knees on their way to a crazy game-winning touchdown. The last time I saw so many Duke people that upset was when Blue Devil law student Tucker Max got his gonorrhea test results.
There was another strange ending in Minneapolis when the Minnesota Golden Buffaloes failed on a final play quarterback sneak against Michigan. On the previous play the Buffaloes wasted 15 seconds with a bunch of players looking askance and running in all sorts of odd directions, but that was explainable. The Minnesota players had seen my good friend Holly Rowe in the back of the end zone wearing her Wonder Woman costume. They were trying to avoid direct eye contact out of fear of turning to stone.
The craziness extended out west. Oregon beat Arizona State in triple overtime, 61-55. Now I'm still a bit confused about these overtime rules. Oregon took the lead then got another chance to score from the three yard line, but Arizona State only got one chance to score and that was the game.
Elsewhere out West Washington put a pasting on ASU's WAC sister school, Arizona, 49-3. And Stanford came from behind to knock off the Washington State Fighting Pirates 30-28.
The World's Largest Cocktail Party turned into a rout as the Florida Gators took UGA to the woodshed, 27-3. Up here my good friend John Holmes suggested a similarly named but slightly different party. I don't understand John at times.
Buffalo beat Miami 29-24 to move up in the AFC East. Colorado State got roughed up by SDSU 41-17. It's tough to lose to a smaller school in a neighboring state like South Dakota.
In the Battle for the Golden Tooth, Tennessee had little trouble with Kentucky, 52-21. Purdue ran roughshod over Nebraska's defense, winning 55-45. I'm just glad that the little Italian dictator Benito Mussolini is in the other place, so I don't have to hear him screaming about what Nebraska's done to the image of the blackshirts.
The surprisingly big game of the day featured Notre Dame in a tight contest against Temple, won by the Irish. I was impressed that they made the game a night game out of respect for the Jewish Sabbath.
Now I know that I once said that an atheist is a person who doesn't care who wins when Notre Dame plays SMU. This is kind of the same thing and I bet you're all wondering who the big guy and his kid root for when Notre Dame plays Temple.
Well, we don't get direct information on that one. God has strong ties to the Jews of course but I'm still a bit confused on the Christian denomination side of things: The Calvinist Church was started by John Calvin. The Lutheran Church was started by Martin Luther. The Church of England was started by King Henry the Eighth. But the Catholic Church was started by God. So who are you gonna trust?
Next weekend we have some of the great matchups of the year: LSU at Alabama, Florida State at Clemson, TCU at Oklahoma State, and Louisiana Monroe at Troy. Should be a lot of fun, see you next week!