2016 Week 8
October 26, 2016
I really didn't think this would be a great weekend of college football but I'm glad to admit I was wrong. We had some exciting action.
Nothing could really top that 66-59 shootout between Oklahoma and Texas Tech. Each team gained 854 yards! I bet Coach Knight was mad enough to slap up his entire team.
Other big games weren't nearly as close. The St. Louisville Cardinals battered North Carolina State like they were the '62 Mets, jumping out 44-0 at half.
The Auburn Tigers made mincemeat of R Kansas, pulling away for a 56-3 victory at Bryant-Hare Stadium. Coach Butthead of the Hogs has had an up and down season, beating powers like Ole Miss, La Tech, and Acorn State then getting blown out by the big boys.
Speaking of the Fighting Frenchmen, La Tech took on another foreigner school, Florida International, and won easily, 44-24. In another nationalistic affair, the Men of Troy upended U.S.A. 28-21.
There were a lot of points put on the board in many games. In the new-look SEC Missouri fell to their visitors from Nashville, "Middle Tennessee State", 51-45. I guess Vanderbilt finally gave up and became a public university so they could enroll better football players.
Further west, U.C.L.A. lost a tight one to U.T.A.H. 52-45. It's been another fine year for the University of Texas at Houston.
Two other branch UT campuses had quite the battle of their own. In five overtimes U.T. El Paso beat U.T. San Antonio, 52-49. Now I'm still a bit confused about these overtime rules. Apparently the two teams were tied at 28 after regulation, so in five overtimes UTEP scored 24 points and UTSA 21. I guess that was three touchdowns, 3 extra points, and a field goal for UTEP and three touchdowns and 3 extra points for UTSA. So that's 7 scores vs 6 in only 5 overtimes, doesn't seem to add up.
Cal had a tight win over Oregon 52-49. I haven't seen a bear score on beaver like that since Sean Connery's debut as James Bond.
It wasn't all high scoring antics out west. Colorado traveled to Palo Alto and shut down Stanford 10-5. I always like scores with safeties and the Buffs had a touchdown, a two-point conversion, and a safety. Meanwhile the Stanford team had two safeties and an extra point.
Louisiana State continued their turnaround with a 38-21 win over Ole Miss. Things are looking up at LSU ever since their elevation of Coach Ogre to the head job.
One of the odder controversies of the week occurred in a trophy game. The University of Central Florida pulled away for a win over the Yukon Huskies, 24-16. Yukon had brought the trophy for the game, the Civilian Conflict Trophy, but UCF, offended by the trophy, didn't pick it up after the victory. So now the two schools are mad at each other and this beautiful trophy showing a Florida civilian being beaten by a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police is in a storage room back in Whitehorse.
A different new trophy was claimed by Wisconsin. They beat Iowa 17-9 to grab possession of the "Heartland Trophy", which is a hollow cast iron pig. By the time they got the trophy to the bus the Badger offensive line had opened up the trophy and devoured the delicious bacon contained within.
The biggest upset occurred in State College Station, as Penn State stunned #2 Ohio State, 24-21.
I had the privilege of watching the game with Coach Woody Hayes, which was fine until Penn State blocked a field goal and ran it back for a touchdown. Woody went so nuts breaking things that he was told he would have to take a time out in purgatory for a week.
Meanwhile I know some of you have asked how JoePa enjoyed the Nittany Lion victory. Fact is, I don't know. Ever since I got here I haven't seen Joe anywhere. Don't know what happened.
Now the biggest game of the weekend was in Tuscaloosa, as the Tide pulled away from Texas A&M 34-14. The excitement of the game was spoiled by the halftime announcement that fans would have to refrain from using most of the bathrooms due to water pressure issues.
This led to one of the most beautiful scenes in recent college football history. You could see on the telecast, from the press box looking across the field, a stunning awe-inspiring sight. No, not fans helping each other to the restroom and patiently their turn. I'm talking about the sunlight reflecting off the waterfalls cascading from the upper deck onto the lower deck.
Looking at those fans in the lower deck cooling off thanks to the upper deck "leaks", I finally understand Coach Corso's frequent comments to me about the joy of a "golden shower".