2017 Week 12
November 21, 2017
Well, we're getting all geared up for Rivalry Weekend, but there was plenty of football to enjoy last week too.
Unfortunately, we've seen this trend in recent years of name teams playing cupcakes the weekend before Thanksgiving. It's really getting out of control, especially in the SEC.
Alabama blew out something called Mercer, 56-0. Auburn beat up Louisiana Monroe 42-14. South Carolina had little trouble with cross-state foe Wofford, winning 31-10. Florida State clobbered Delaware State 77-6.
But this trend of scheduling overmatched small schools went beyond the SEC. North Carolina pounded expansion state foe West Carolina 65-10. Clemson annihilated the Citadel 61-3. Oklahoma beat Kansas 41-3. And Ohio State had no trouble with Illinois-Chicago, winning 52-14.
In more traditional matchups, I once again greatly enjoyed the crosstown game in LA, as Southern Cal beat UCLA 28-23 to take possession of the Cheerleader Bowel. Kansas City State built up a huge lead in Stillwater then held on for dear life as the Cowpokes came back from a 25-point 4th quarter deficit to have a chance to win, but fell short 45-40. That was really nervewracking for KCSU, you could see the nervousness on their sideline, I know I wouldn't want to be handling Coach Bruce Snyder's laundry this week. Or any week for that matter.
There was an interesting trend in uniforms. Notre Dame wore jerseys bearing the name of Newt Rockne in their last minute win over Navy. I think that was taking this recognition thing much too far, having every player with the same name on his jersey, that had to be really confusing to the referees. And Tulsa's quarterback honored our nation's leaders by wearing the word "PRESIDENT" on his jersey.
In one of the great sectarian clashes, the Catholics beat the Morons as UMass defeated Bring 'em Young 16-10. The Washington Thetans scored 10 points in the final minute to stun the University of Texas at Houston as Xenu worked his black magic.
In a battle of interim coaches, LSU behind Coach Ogre beat Tennessee and Coach Hoke, 30-10. The postgame handshake was interesting, I haven't seen two burly dark-haired guys like that since the cloning episode of "The Flintstones".
We're all getting really fired up for rivalry week, which opens with several MAC attack games on Tuesday then segues into some of the classic trophy games. We'll have Stanford vs Notre Dame fighting for the #2 Pencil, Arizona vs. ASU vying for the Territorial Cup, and Wisconsin vs. Minnesota playing for possession of Paul Bunyan's Ass. And we'll have legendary SEC trophies like the Egg Bowel and that greatest of all medical devices, the Iron Bowel.