2017 Week 9
November 1, 2017
We had some wild action in college football last weekend.
Teams have started to separate themselves in the SEC and the coaches are bearing the brunt of it. Georgia turned the World's Greatest Cocktail Party into a whupping, jumping all over Florida 42-7. Soon after the game Florida fired coach Jaws.
Meanwhile Kentucky scored late to upend Rocky Top, winning 29-26. The shocker after that game was the fact that UT coach Bert Jones kept his job. I'm not saying he's a dead man walking, but most zombies are more animated than Bert.
Some other teams that were highly touted coming into the season have fallen on hard times too. The St Louisville Cardinals lost a shocker to Wake Forest. Ole Southern Miss blew a big lead and lost to R Kansas and Coach Butthead.
Worst of all, 2-5 Florida State got dominated by Boston College. Fredo hasn't manhandled anything like that since he was making cocktail waitresses two at a time in Vegas.
The ACC race is heading toward a dramatic showdown as ancillary member Notre Dame had little trouble with #14 North Carolina State and Miami held on to defeat an upset minded North Carolina team. I was a bit confused by the NC State helmets. They used to wear a helmet with a big block S but now it has some bucktoothed cartoon wolf that looks like it's getting goosed. I haven't seen such an ugly helmet since the last time I watched Maryland play.
While there weren't as many stunners as last week, two top rated teams fell on Saturday. TCU was shut down by Iowa State of all people, losing 14-7. And Penn State blew an 18-point lead in Columbus as the Buckeyes made a late comeback to win 39-38. I now predict that JT Barrett will win this year's and last year's Heisman Trophy and, after his eligibility expires, be hired as the new spokesman for Dos Equus.
Oklahoma and Oklahoma State outscored foes in preparation for their big showdown this weekend, OU beating Texas Tech and Okie State outscoring Western Virginia. It's interesting how much bigger this rivalry is these days. I remember years ago mentioning "Bedlam" to my good friend Coach Corso and he said "bedlam? In rural areas of Florida you can find friendly lambs just about anywhere". I don't get what Coach is talking about at times.
The Big Ten had some close contests as Nebraska came from behind to upend Purdue 25-24. Northwestern beat the Michigan State Fighting Chippewas 39-31 in triple overtime. And Iowa held on for a narrow win over Minnesota, 17-10.
There were some cupcake games as well. Most notably, Missouri took a break from Big Eight action to head up to the Klondike to pound the Yukon Huskies 52-12.
Now I normally don't watch the NFL and especially don't watch those interminable pregame shows. At least when ESPN does Gameday they're out among the actual fans, well at least a bunch of drunken college students holding up weird signs. The NFL stuff is pretty boring.
Anyway, I digress. There was a feature on former Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck and his apparent injury problems. I got a close look and thought "this guy looks like a breeding experiment gone awry, like he's the first Neanderthal quarterback". I'm guessing they bred him in the mountains then taught him to read.
Then I started paying more attention and noted that Penn State's star running back is named Sasquatch Barkley. Now that makes sense too, his skills are inhuman and Penn State is a land grant agricultural college with lots of experience with hybrids.
So I'm thinking there's a new trend of having hybrid species play football. I think I will be looking into this issue some more.