2018 Week 6
October 9, 2018
We had some exciting finishes as well as some routine blowouts last weekend in college football.
In one of the most dramatic games of the day Florida State blew a 20-point lead and succumbed to Miami, 28-27. Given the Noles' past FG failures in the "wide right" and "wide left" games I guess it made sense to punt the ball late rather than try a 109-yard field goal.
My Pitt Panthers held off the Syracuse Orange Testicles, 44-37. They've bounced back well since their loss to Penn State and I still think they have a shot at the Jack Lambert Trophy, given to the Eastern team with the fewest natural teeth.
Georgia Tech's coach Paul Johnson took out some frustration with the St. Louisville Cardinals and their former bench coach Uncle Rico VanGorder, as Georgia Tech ran for almost 600 yards and won 66-31. I haven't seen a bunch of engineers score like that since, well, never.
Not to be outdone, #1 ranked Alabama went to Fayetteville and laid a nearly identical whipping on R Kansas, winning 65-31. I predict Tua Tuiasosopo will win two Heisman trophies and a Tony Award.
There were some fun trophy games. Iowa downed Minnesota 48-31 to retain the farming services of Floyd Rosedale. The University of Toledo Mud Rockets outscored Bowling Green 52-36 to win Jamie Farr's Girdle.
Stanford continued its struggles, losing at home to the University of Texas at Houston, 40-31. U.T.A.H. is having another fine year.
Some well-known new coaches are struggling this year. Wisconsin ran up some big numbers in defeating Nebraska 41-24, leaving Coach Frost with a 0-5 record. Washington held off satellite campus Cal-Los Angeles, meaning a similar 0-5 start for C Kelly.
In the SEC the Ole Southern Miss State Fighting Cowbells had a nice 23-9 win over Auburn and Florida continued to turn things around under former OLSMS head man Dan Mullet, beating the Bayou Bengals 27-19. Coach Ogre seemed a bit distracted, I don't think it was a good idea for him to work weeknights on Broadway as an understudy in "Shrek the Musical".
The Ohio State Buckeyes stayed unbeaten with a high scoring 49-26 win over the Hoosiers. I'm still very doubtful about the effectiveness of the IU D.
In what was probably the biggest game of the day, Texas beat archrival Oklahoma 48-45 after blowing a 21-point fourth quarter lead. Now I'm still a bit confused about these overtime rules. Texas went first and kicked the go-ahead field goal, but I thought the new rules said the game would continue until one team scored 6 points or both teams kicked multiple field goals or something like that.
The game was won by a FG specialist named Dicker, also known as Dicker the Kicker. There's been a long tradition of names being changed to make for great rhymes. Way back when Doak Walker even changed his name to make it more likely that he'd win the Doak Walker Trophy. Notre Dame was well known for having Theisman the Heisman at quarterback. Speaking of the Irish, they also once had Hunter the Punter. I'm just waiting for a team to change a name so they can have Gunnar the Runner out there. Or some team unveiling Nassar the Passer.
While I was working on this Coach Hayes stopped by. He said they used to have nicknames for coaches too. He said he always talked about "Bo the Ho" and "Scruffy Duffy". Then he said he had another rhyming nickname for Anus Alonzo Stagg but right about then Coach Stagg hit him with a flying wedge tackle and that was the end of that.
Next week we see some fine top matchups like Washington at Oregon, Georgia at LSU, and Wisconsin at Michigan. Should be a great week, talk to you soon!