2019 Week 2
September 13, 2019
I really enjoy the early part of the college football season due to all the intersectional non-conference matchups. So last week I got out my Stoli drip, and watched about 14 straight hours of action. And that was just the Friday Skinemax Hitchhiker Movie Marathon. The next day I settled for sitting in my recliner, loading up my fridge with a case of Yuengling, putting on my Depends, and enjoying the best college football has to offer.
One of the big shockers occurred in Knoxville, where the Bring 'em Young Morons upset Tennessee in double overtime. Now I'm still a bit confused about these overtime rules. Bring 'em Young went first and scored a touchdown in three plays but they let Tennessee run six plays to tie it up, you'd think that would be the game but they gave Tennessee another chance to score again. But they got a FG in four plays and Bring 'em Young scored a TD in just three so I guess that broke the tie, 13 points in 6 plays beat 10 points in 10 plays.
There was also a surprising 2OT game in Ann Arbor as the Army Cadets took Jack Harbaugh's Wolverines to the wire, with the home team prevailing 24-21. In this case the OT made sense, each team got 8 plays and Michigan scored 10 points in 8 plays but Army only scored 7 points in their 8 plays.
In yet another overtime game, Florida State fought off a powerhouse Louisiana Monroe team, winning 45-44. That's a great sign for the Noles as they attempt to return to the glory days of dominance over Sun Belt teams.
There were quite a few cupcake games for powerhouse teams. Oklahoma had no trouble with South Dakota, winning 70-14. Kansas City State bombed Boweling Green, 52-0. I was glad to see Uncle Rico make his return to coaching for BG.
Oregon pounded Nevada, 77-6. Wisconsin had no trouble with the Navy's satellite school, Seaman U, winning 61-0. And another Big Ten power destroyed its weak foe as Ohio State beat Cincinnati 42-0. The annihilation should get the Bengals ready for the AFC.
My Pitt Panthers held off a game Ohio U team, 20-10. Also out east, Maryland ran up the score on the Syracuse Orange Testicle, 63-20, in an early ACC showdown.
That wasn't the only conference game of note. USC had little trouble with Stanford, winning 45-20. Coach Helton looks to be turning things around and I'm sure he'll get a contract extension soon.
In a traditional conference showdown, Colorado won a wild one over the Nebraska Cornholio, coming back from a 17-point deficit to win 34-31 in the closing minutes. CU may be ready to emerge again in the Big 8.
In the Pac 8 the Cal Golden Hippies went up to Seattle and stunned the Huskies with a last second field goal to win 20-19. That's a big win for coach Ted Ford.
Coach Miles' second game didn't go as well as the first as Kansas lost to expansion state Coastal Carolina 12-7. Meanwhile sister school R Kansas was knocked off by non-conference foe Ole Southern Miss.
The two biggest games of the day involved Texas powerhouses. Clemson played with its food for a while but eventually pulled away from Texas A&M, winning 24-10. And LSU went into Austin and pulled out an exciting high-scoring win, 45-38. Coach Ogre seems to be doing a great job with his modern offense. His chalk talk about the run/pass option was one of the finest examples of authentic frontier gibberish.
Well, next week is an exciting one. My daughter Beth Cook goes to South Beach and I'm sure there will be a lot of scoring. Oh, and Pitt plays at Penn State. Can't wait to see that one. Talk to you soon!