2022 Week 13
November 28, 2022
Rivalry week lived up to expectations. We were going to have a big gathering of coaching and playing legends for the Ohio State vs. Michigan game, then Woody and Bo got into another of their tussles and the tables and the entire spread got knocked over. Those two can go at it like Dempsey and Tunney, except with harder punching.
I finally managed to get the two most mild-mannered former coaches, Paul Brown and Fritz Crisler, to go with me to a separate room to watch the game. And by halftime the two of them were yelling then they started pulling each other's hair out, which wasn't much of a challenge.
As for the game, Michigan really poured it on in the second half and the Huckeyes ended up losing by a wide margin, which I guess hurts Ohio State's chances in the BS system. Jack Harbaugh's Michigan team will move on to the Big Ten title game against Purdue and perhaps another chance to get skunked by Georgia.
MACtion wrapped up last Tuesday, but the big boy action started Thanksgiving evening with a tight matchup in the Egg Bowel game as the Mississippi State Pirates pulled out a 24-22 win over Ole Southern Piss.
Rivalry week did feature a lot of in-state games, such as Florida State's exciting win over the Florida Gators, which I believe gives the Noles a leg up in the SEC South Division. Also North Carolina State defeated the Tar Heels 30-27 in a field goal shootout as NC State made 2 field goals while UNC only made 1. I wish they'd dispense with the shootouts and just let them play football in overtime. Just start them at the 20 or so and get to it.
The University of Washington completed an outstanding turnaround regular season by going to Pullman and gobsmacking the Wazzu Cougars, 51-33, in the Apple Cup game. The Dawgs' quarterback stretched the field through the air, which makes it one of the most impressive Penix extensions I've ever seen.
Just a bit south, Oregon blew a 21-point second half lead and lost to their archrival, Oregon State, 38-34. It was a disappointing loss for the Beavers. I was talking in the hallway to my good friend David Diles about the exciting comeback, saying "that was one of the best Civil Wars I've ever seen". Just then one of the old basketball coaches, Adolph Rupp, walked by and said "WAR OF NORTHERN AGGRESSION" and kicked me in the shin. So I belly bumped him and he went flying. Try that again sometime, you Lost Cause loser.
Alabama retained the Iron Bowel by disembowling Auburn 49-27. Meanwhile South Carolina had a stunning upset in their cross-state rivalry game, coming from behind to beat Clemson 31-30, which likely knocks the Tigers out of the BS playoff.
One team that is still alive is Southern Cal. Caleb Williams executed coach Lincoln Riley's offense quite well and the Southbay Sooners pulled away from Notre Dame, 38-27. USC will now have to take on the University of Texas at Houston in some exhibition game in Vegas before heading off to the BS playoffs.
There were a handful of trophy games. Minnesota won a fun back and forth matchup with Wisconsin to retain possession of Paul Bunyan's Ass. Nebraska beat Iowa 24-17 to take the Golden Hoe, but she'll have to be returned by December 5th.
A couple of BS system contenders had differing results. TCU finished a 12-0 regular season by bombing Iowa State of the Big 8, 62-14. And LSU's BS chances went up in smoke when they went to State College Station and lost to a fired up Texas A&M team, 38-23. Coach B Kelly probably should have avoided using the two-handed touch defense there.
Well, it's almost time for the Conference title games, where teams play each other for the chance to ruin their own BS system chances. There will be games all over the country, most of which will have little meaning, being played in half-filled stadiums. What a perfect lead-in to bowel season!