2022 Week 6
October 11, 2022
Whoo boy, we had some scintillating action, especially in the corn belt.
Iowa took on Illinois in an epic 9-6 field goal shootout that wasn't settled until Iowa's final play. The Huckeyes made 23 lateral passes and for every 1-2 yards they'd run forward with the ball they'd lose 2-3 yards on the next lateral, so the game ended with an Iowa player holding the ball 8 rows up in the end zone stands. I haven't seen a large group of guys struggle to score like that since the last Bob Jones University mixer.
Out West there was a lot more excitement. In the late late show, Oregon State stunned Stanford. After the Cardinals took a 27-22 lead with under a minute left, Oregon State threw a medium length pass that was tipped, caught, and run into the end zone for a 56-yard game-winner with 13 seconds left. Elsewhere in the Pac-8, U.C.L.A. held off a fellow satellite campus school, the University of Texas at Houston, winning 42-32. Former Oregon Beaver coach C Kelly finally seems to have turned it around in Westwood.
Coach C Kelly's wrapper counterpart, B Kelly, is starting to have a rough time of it in Baton Rouge. Rocky Top came to town and turned the Bayou Bengals into half teddy bear and half cat, winning 40-13. By the end B Kelly's face matched the hue of his LSU polo shirt.
A great religious battle took place in the pious city of Las Vegas, as B Kelly's former team Notre Dame pulled away from Bring 'Em Young, 28-20. The Irish seem to have turned things around after a tough start, while BEY will prepare for a pair of different religious showdowns against Babtist schools like Liberty in two weeks and R Kansas next week.
Ohio State continued its offensive fireworks, going up to East Lansing Michigan and sticking it to the Michigan State Fighting Chippewas in Chippewa Stadium, 49-20. Elsewhere in the Big Ten, Michigan continued its undefeated season with a win at Indiana, 31-10. New Wolverine QB Joe McCarthy had a fine game and I'm sure his grandpa Tailgunner Joe is proud.
The Kansas Jayhawks are having a great turnaround season but suffered their first loss to the TCU Horny Toads, 38-31. KU looks legit though and may have an outside shot at the Big 8 title. That's because Oklahoma is looking really bad this year. In the annual Red River Shootout the Sooners got gobsmacked by the Texas Longhorns, 49-0. I haven't seen a bunch of Okies get run over like that since April 22, 1889.
Houston had an exciting win at Memphis. The Cougars trailed the Tigers 32-19 with time running out. Then Houston quarterback Clayton Toon channeled his father Al and made a wild scramble for a first down on 4th and 11. He followed up with a TD pass, Houston then recovered the onside kick and drove down to win the game.
That was a truly dramatic finish, but the most dramatic finish, given the stakes, was in Tuscaloosa. Alabama and the Texas Aggies faced off with both quarterbacks sidelined due to injury. Alabama looked to be in control, then A&M made a run, got some stops, and drove down close while trailing 24-20. A pass interference penalty put them at the Tide 2 yard line with 3 seconds left. Then, for some reason, the Aggies threw a pass short of the end zone that was broken up and Alabama held on.
Up here we had a bit of a role reversal. Usually Coach Bryant is the one needling Coach Hayes. But this time Woody was giving it to Bear something fierce. He repeatedly asked which team Bear was rooting for since he coached at each school. Then, when Bear would say he'd root for his alma mater Bama, Woody would say "what about the Junction Boys? Don't you think all those kids you killed from heat exhaustion deserve your support?". Bear finally had enough and put Woody in a headlock, which just caused Woody to start laughing as he'd finally gotten the best of Coach Bryant. Woody stopped laughing when Bear gave him a wedgie to end all wedgies and duck taped Woody to the wall.
Next week is the third Saturday in October and that means Tennessee vs. Alabama, except in those years when they play the third Saturday in October game on the second Saturday or in mid November or Bama replaces the Vols on the schedule with New Mexico State. There's other top matchups like Penn State at Michigan, Clemson at Florida State, and Yukon at Bald State. Should be fun!