2024 Week 13
November 24, 2024
Well we ended up with a lot of chaos in the SEC, which confused me as the Saturday before Thanksgiving is traditionally SEC cupcake week.
Ole Southern Piss went to the Swamp and got their bladders emptied by the resurgent Gators. Alabama made a trip to Norman for some reason and the 5-5 Sooners had a big blowout win for the Big 8, 24-3. I'm not sure how Coach DeBore is going to survive down there with these sorts of upset losses to mediocre teams. At least Vanderbilt still has a winning record.
And the Texas Aggies went to Bryant-Hare Stadium and laid an egg at Auburn. The game ended up going to multiple overtimes and it was settled with a two point shootout in the fourth overtime. Now I'm still trying to figure out these overtime rules because I had read that in the second overtime teams must attempt two point conversions after they score. But in the second overtime both teams kicked field goals yet neither subsequently attempted a two pointer. I guess it's just as well because they were able to save their best two point plays for the third and fourth overtime, where I think the teams combined went 1 for 4. While going 1 for 4 would be the best day of Tim Tebow's baseball career it's not good in football. Then again, going 1 for 4 also happened to be one of the best days of Tim Tebow's NFL quarterback career.
Coach Prime Directive looked all set to make a run at a BS playoff spot but fell 37-21 to Kansas in a game at Arrowhead Stadium. I'm not sure why the Jayhawks decided to play a game across the Missouri state line in the stadium of their archrival Kansas City State, but I guess it worked out for them.
I saw that my daughter Beth Cook is still letting guys score on her, a bunch of Florida A&M dudes put up a score of 41. That girl sure ain't right.
There were a couple clashes of ranked teams. Ohio State had very little trouble with surprisingly undefeated Indiana, beating the tar out of the Hoosiers 38-15. And the new Yankee Stadium hosted a revival of a great old matchup that was played at the old Yankee Stadium, as Notre Dame gave the Army its worst pasting since Kasserine Pass, 49-14.
I made sure to stay up late to watch the renewal of one of my favorite rivalries from beautiful Pasadena. USC held on for a 19-13 win over UCLA and retained possession of one of the ickiest trophies in existence, the Cheerleader Bowel.
Also out west, Washington State put up a game effort in Corvallis and clinched second place in the Pac-8. While Oregon State could take pride in the win, they still finished a disappointing second to last in the league.
My Panthers suffered yet another defeat as Coach Nard Dog's boys seem to be collapsing. This time it was a 37-9 shellacking administered by the St Louisville Cardinals.
Going back to cupcake week, I'd like pay my respects to Florida State. The Seminoles have really struggled this year and were chosen by Charleston Southern to be Chas Southern's cupcake week opponent. But FSU showed great pride and actually put together a big win. Way to go!
Cal upended Stanford 24-21 in what was a surprisingly normal game in that rivalry. That wasn't the case in Tempe, where Arizona State was hosting Bring 'Em Young. The Sun Devils had a 5 point lead late and, after an interception return, had first and goal with little time left. Somehow they managed to turn the ball over at midfield after their quarterback ran backwards on two separate plays to kill time. Then the fans rushed the field except the final ASU offensive play preceding the field rush started with 7 seconds left giving BEY one last shot at a win, which fell short. Premature and 7 seconds is fitting as it sounds like a typical ASU fraternity party.
Well I'm now gearing up for the holidays and rivalry week. We'll have the Egg Bowel, the Iron Bowel, and my turkey-fied bowel. Talk to you soon!