December 10, 2025

We've had quite the ride this season, starting off with Iowa State upending Kansas City State 24-21 in Ireland during "week 0". Then, after week 15, we got the shocking news that both Iowa State and KCSU have declined the opportunity to participate in the most wonderful tradition of college football, bowel season. I do not understand why those particular schools would pass on the opportunity to fly to Shreveport to play in 38 degree weather against a Sun Belt team. It's not like Ames is a happening place.

Now I can better understand Notre Dame opting out of bowel season, that was their long-standing tradition for decades, so paying tribute to their storied history by taking a pass on playing in the Poop Tarts Bowel, that makes more sense. Or at least that's how Coach Leahy explained it to me the other day. And I don't dare disagree with him, he's a tough hombre.

They've also set the field for the BS playoff, which will open with a few blowouts of teams from weaker leagues like James Madison, Tulane, and the Canes. Which is okay because once the preliminaries are over the later BS playoff games will be played in bowels.

As my good friend Coach Corso told me years ago, "Beeno, there's nothing more fun than playing in a bowel".

I said I liked watching college football too then Lee said "I wasn't talking about football".

I don't understand Lee at times.

As was the case last year, there's only one week between the end of the regular season and the bowel season so everything is coming at us quickly, but I've been doing a lot of research and think I'm ready to give you the deepest dig into this year's bowels.

I'll put my write-ups of the BS playoff games after the bowel discussion because the bowels are the truly important thing here.

Saturday, December 13: The Salivation Bowel (Atlanta, Georgia). Prairie View A&M vs. South Carolina State

Prairie View is a great story. The Panthers actually shut down their program for a year in 1990 then struggled mightily, losing 80 straight games during the 90's, a far cry from their glory days in the 1950's. But now they're back with a 10-3 record and a SWAC title.

South Carolina State hasn't faced those sorts of struggles as they've won 9 league titles since 2009.

This game should be a quite entertaining battle, especially at halftime when the bands compete and the drum majors and dance squads shake as much as my good friend Johnny Majors when he's on a bender.

Beeno's Pick: South Carolina State

Saturday, December 13: La Gronk Lost a Bet, Sat on a Light Bulb, and Now Has a F'd Up Bowel (Butte, Montana). Boys' State vs. Washington

I guess it's nice to have this battle of neighboring states a bit further down the highway in Montana, though with a 40 degree high in the forecast there may not be ideal conditions.

This is the sort of bowel where you could see a bunch of players on both teams opting out and the game being decided by a bunch of redshirt freshman linemen. Which is yet one more reason to love this time of year.

Beeno's Pick: Washington

Tuesday, December 16: The ISIS Salute to Veterans' Bowels (Montgomery, Alabama). Troy vs. Jacksonville

Now apparently I've been mistaken about Jacksonville's team. They aren't in the AFC and haven't been strengthening their record by playing mid-major teams in the south. In fact they aren't even in Florida but rather in rural Alabama.

Meanwhile the Men of Troy have had a mixed record this season, what with an upset loss at Illinois and a blowout defeat at Notre Dame. While I think Troy is a better team, I do think it will be closer than expected given that Jacksonville will be playing in its home state while Troy flies in from LA.

Beeno's Pick: Troy

Wednesday, December 17: The Avocados from Napoli Curio Bowel (Roma, Italy). Old Dominion vs. South Florida

One of the great things about bowel games is the opportunity for football players to get some great cultural experiences. Sometimes you get to enjoy the cuisine of Frisco Texas or the twine museum of Boise. But in this case you'll have some guys from the rural south visiting the wonders of the Eternal City. The Trevi Fountain will look stunning when it's filled with tobacco juice.

While this is a matchup of 9-3 teams, the Bulls have had the more impressive results, with a blowout over Boys' State and a narrow win over Florida. Then again, most teams had narrow wins over Florida, so maybe my read is wrong.

Beeno's Pick: South Florida

Wednesday, December 17: 69 Adventures with Milli Vanilli's Bowels (Mobile, Alabama). Louisiana vs. Delaware

This is why I truly enjoy the final full week before Christmas. Instead of watching the same old holiday specials, why not sit down and enjoy the finest college football action, with two schools you probably didn't even know existed or had football teams playing in a stadium you've never seen before with a sponsor named for a band you forgot about around 1993.

As for the game, Tubby Raymond and the wing-T ain't coming through that door.

Beeno's Pick: Louisiana

Thursday, December 18: The Xelox Bowel (Frisco, Texas). Missouri State vs. R Kansas State

This is a matchup that should have been a bitter rivalry what with the two states having fought so often going all the way back to just before the Civil War when R Kansas split from regular Kansas. Both teams have been up and coming in the lower echelons of D-1 and I expect coaching legend Butch Jones to take down another mediocre foe.

Beeno's Pick: R Kansas State

Friday, December 19: The Myrtle Beach Boxcar Bowel (Myrtle Beach, South Carolina). Kennesaw State vs. Western Michigan

As I noted last week Kennesaw State is an impressive upstart program and it's quite a proud moment for them to be heading over to the Atlantic coast to play in a bowel.

Western Michigan has been very solid for years though they've not always done the best in bowel games, with only a couple wins in their history, one of which was in the Bahamas so probably shouldn't count. Then again the other one was in Detroit so that shouldn't count either. This time the Broncos will get it done.

Beeno's Pick: Western Michigan

Friday, December 19: The Gasparilla Pirate Booty Bowel (Tampa, Florida). Memphis vs. North Carolina State

They really need to think about naming this game after Coach Leach as he's my favorite pirate. He doesn't hang with us all that often but when he does I learn so much. Last week he spoke for 10 minutes about the evils of low flow showers and how they don't clean all the nooks and crannies. That's a lot more interesting than getting the same old speech about the wonders of devil worship from Coach Lou Satan. Let me tell you, old Lou is cruising for a demotion to a lower place.

Memphis looked headed for a BS playoff berth until they realized they'd rather aspire to a bowel game like any good American team. Then their coach left. NC State got bombed by all the good teams they played except UVA but managed to narrowly beat their weaker foes. I can't tell whether Memphis is good or bad so expect a close one.

Beeno's Pick: Memphis

Monday, December 22: The Famous Anus Potatoe Bowel (Boise, Idaho). Washington State vs. U.T.A.H. State

It's a short trip down US-95 from Pullman to the Potatoe Bowel. Sadly Wazzu is yet again dealing with the departure of a head coach before a bowel. It will be a long trip from Houston for their foe. The winner gets french fries dumped on their heads while the loser gets dowsed with the frying oil. Given the weather in Idaho the oil may be the better option.

Beeno's Pick: Washington State

Tuesday, December 23: The Miami Chamber of Commerce Boca Raton Bowel (Boca Raton, Florida). Toledo vs. St. Louisville Cardinals

This is a great baseball matchup, with the sluggers from St Louisville taking on the Mud Hens. Toledo lost their coach to the Klondike while the Cardinals nearly lost their coach to Penn State. Whitehorse is likely preferable to State College Station these days so I understand both decisions.

Beeno's Pick: St. Louisville Cardinals

Tuesday, December 23: The B Kelly Buyout Bowel (New Orleans, Gulf of Mexico). Western Kentucky vs. New Southern Piss

The Hilltoppers showed some real gumption this year, playing LSU really tight late in the season and knocking off expansion states like North Alabama. New Southern Piss started off strong but closed with 3 tough losses. The deciding factor to me is the departure of former knuckleballer Charles Huff from Hattiesburg to Memphis.

Beeno's Pick: Western Kentucky

Tuesday, December 23: The Scooter's Coffee Frisco Non-Classic Bowel (Frisco, Texas). UNLV vs. Ohio

The Rebels were undefeated in games not involving Boys' State or New Mexico. Coach Mullen has done a really fine job and I'm surprised he wasn't approached by schools looking for a new coach who has a solid offensive approach. Like Florida. Ohio got blown out by their cross-state friends in Columbus but once again won the mascot battle. Their QB Parker Navarro gives them a chance but I think UNLV is too multifaceted in this one.

Beeno's Pick: UNLV

Wednesday, December 24: The Netflix Hulu Bowel (Honolulu, Hawaii). Cal vs. Hawaii

It's a great tradition here on Christmas Eve - attend services (yeah, you better believe we make a point of attending services, nobody wants to upset the management) then settle back for some egg nog and the Hulu Bowel. Then maybe some more egg nog. Pretty soon we're tossing chairs at each other and nobody is paying attention to the game.

Hawaii is led by their turn of the century legend Timmy Chang who probably is still their best option at QB. Cal is quarterbacked by Jaron-Keuwe Sagapolutele and I'm hoping that my good friend Chris Fowler has to call the game because I want to hear him say that name numerous times. Maybe I'll even start a drinking game, one ounce of egg nog for each time Chris says his name wrong. Which may result in everyone keeling over by halftime.

While Berkeley is on the west coast, it's still quite a long way from Hawaii, over 2,000 miles. It's about as long of a trek as going from the Bay Area to Blacksburg or Boston. Fortunately nobody would ever be stupid enough to make a team from California fly to the east coast for games multiple times per season.

Beeno's Pick: Hawaii

Friday, December 26: The Quickie Lane Bowel (Detroit, Michigan). Seaman U vs. Northwestern

The Wildcats have had a couple solid seasons of late and they have earned their reward, spending Christmas Day and Boxing Day in downtown Detroit. By contrast, the site will be a reward for the Seaman U players as they'll view it as shore leave.

It's harder to read these Big Ten games against mid-majors because it seems the Big Ten teams play down to their foes. But I'll still take them over some hungover sailors.

Beeno's Pick: Northwestern

Friday, December 26: The Guaranteed Hate Bowel (Phoenix, Arizona). New Mexico vs. Minnesota

Coach Eck went from Idaho south of the border and put together an excellent year for Los Lobos, surpassing even the heights achieved by former Notre Dame coach Bob Davis.

Minnesota had an up and down season, getting blown out by good teams and some not so good teams then narrowly defeating some lousy teams. The good thing is that this game should spark the rivalry juices as Coach Eck played at Wisconsin and I'm sure everyone involved will have fond memories of grasping at that magnificent trophy, Paul Bunyan's Ass.

Beeno's Pick: Minnesota

Friday, December 26: The First Responders' Bowels (University Park State College Station, Texas). Florida International vs. U.T.S.A.

On the same day that New Mexico plays we'll have a game involving the international kids in Florida. It's great that the sport is growing so much outside the USA. As a reward the Florida imports will get to go to Texas to play the UT San Antonio Roadrunners.

I admit I don't know much about FIU, just that they scored 42 times on my daughter Beth Cook. UTSA played a tougher schedule featuring a loss to the Aggies and a win over BS playoff-bound Tulane. Which may say more about what Ole Southern Piss is going to do again to Tulane than about the Roadrunners.

Beeno's Pick: U.T.S.A.

Saturday, December 27: The Go Boweling with Kim Jong Un Military Bowel (Annapolis, Maryland). Pitt vs. East Carolina

My Panthers have had a crazy season. In some games they looked really impressive, then they'd roll over and play dead against a bad Western Virginia team, losing the Backdoor Brawl. They had a solid passing attack except when they didn't, ran the ball well except when they couldn't, and played excellent defense except when the other team was good. A typical Coach Nard Dog team.

East Carolina was actually a pretty similar team with up and down performances by their quarterback Katin Houser, whose doctor Daddy must be proud. It's amazing that they beat a team like Memphis then lost by 34 to UTSA, but that's life in the Big East or Sun Belt or the American League or whatever they call themselves now. It won't be enough against Pitt.

Beeno's Pick: Pitt

Saturday, December 27: Aaron Judge's Pinstriped Bowel (Bronx, New York). Penn State vs. Clemson

This is an epic Disappointment Bowel, featuring two teams thought to be national title contenders who instead nearly achieved double boxcar status. This would be pretty similar to 2-10 Florida State playing 3-9 Oklahoma State a year ago, except those teams weren't bowel eligible because the Birmingham Bowel was able to find someone less embarrassing. About the only surprise here is that Clemson actually kept their coach around.

What's really remarkable is that Clemson QB Cade Klubnik actually had a fine season while Penn State got pretty good play from backup QB Grunk.

The one key to me is home field advantage at Yankee Stadium. Having been to State College Station enough over the years for Pitt games, if there's one thing you can be sure of about the Penn State fans, it's that most of them pair a Penn State sweatshirt with a Yankee cap.

Beeno's Pick: Penn State

Saturday, December 27: The Bucky F'in Dent Fenway Bowel (Boston, Massachusetts). Yukon vs. Army

The Huskies made a bold move and brought in Toledo coach Jason Candle. His wide open offense ought to play well in Canada. Opposing Yukon will be the guys from West Point, who have done very well under Coach Monken. I think a pincer movement up and down the Alcan Highway ought to take care of things quite well.

Beeno's Pick: Army

Saturday, December 27: The Poop Tarts from the Bowel (Orlando, Florida). Georgia Tech vs. Bring 'Em Young

This has quickly become everyone's favorite bowel and I'm certainly in agreement. The postgame ceremony where they put a giant brown poop tart into a toaster then cook it is incredible. And when the coaches and players eat the roasted brown poop tart I nearly fall over laughing.

This time things may be different though. I know that the LSD church bans fun stuff like hooch, smokes, and caffeine so it's possible they won't be part of the postgame if BEY wins, because it wouldn't surprise me if they've banned eating poop.

Georgia Tech, being engineers, likely have players that are too smart to eat feces either (then again they're engineers, so you never can be certain). So this year's postgame ceremony may be a lot less fun than the previous two.

Beeno's Pick: Bring 'Em Young

Saturday, December 27: The Snoop Dogg Corporate Sell-Out Arizona Bowel (Tucson, Arizona). Miami vs. Fresno State

At first I was a bit confused as to why Miami would play in the BS playoff at Texas A&M then go play in a bowel. But on second thought, it makes perfect sense. Playing the Aggies is an excellent scrimmage for the far more important contest, Miami's bowel game in Tucson.

Fresno State is a team I kind of lost track of. They had the great Pat Hill as a coach then settled in for a pretty good run under Ted Ford. The last couple years they've shuffled between coaches and their games seem to show up on channels I've never heard of. For that reason I pick them to lose.

Beeno's Pick: Miami

Saturday, December 27: The Ron Mexico Bowel (Albuquerque, Mexico). North Texas vs. SDSU

The boys from Denton have made their most famous fan, Phyllis George, proud. Or so I've heard. She still steers clear of me up here because of a joke I made years ago about her audition for the NFL Today. I tried to apologize to her but my good friend Irv Cross told me not to bother. Then Jimmy the Greek came by and let's just say that Jimmy still has issues with certain sensitive topics and the next thing I know Irv had him in a headlock, yelling "hey, Greek, what's the over/under on the number of swirlies you'll be doing?"

SDSU has moved up in competition levels over the years and has still played very well. But I think they'll bite off more than they can chew in this one, so I'm going against the guys from Brookings SD.

Beeno's Pick: North Texas

Saturday, December 27: The Gator's Bowels (Jacksonville, Florida). Virginia vs. Missouri

The Cavaliers were just one score away from making it to the BS playoffs. Next thing you knew, UVA quarterback Chandler Morris threw a bad pick and the game was over. It's pretty clear to me what happened, they realized that instead of some mid-day playoff game that few would watch, a loss would allow Virginia to a play in a prestigious 90-year-old bowel game in Jacksonville. Smart move, Chandler, the Gator's Bowels even has a parade, you wouldn't get that playing in some minor playoff game in State College Station.

Missouri has re-emerged as a solid program the past few years and I believe they were right up there with Iowa State and Oklahoma in the 2025 Big Eight standings. I give them the edge.

Beeno's Pick: Missouri

Saturday, December 27: The Overcooked Brisket Texas Bowel (Houston, Texas). Houston vs. LSU

These are some of the fun bowel games, teams that are geographically close, separated by a few hundred miles on the interstate, who never play because they're in different leagues. LSU will be a fine representative of the SEC, well, other than the lack of a few things like coaches and 2025 success. Houston isn't quite back to the Bill Yeoman glory days but they're still a second tier team in the legendary Southwest Conference. So I expect a real tight battle with the Tigers pulling it out late.

Beeno's Pick: LSU

Monday, December 29: The Birmingham Bowel (Birmingham, Alabama). Georgia Southern vs. Appalachian State

It took forever to get this matchup as nobody wanted to play against Georgia Southern. Baylor, Rutgers, Kansas, and the New York Jets were among those saying no. Finally the bowel organizers were able to strongarm Appalachian State into playing in the game. The two teams are in the same league, play every year, and the rivalry is called "Deeper Than Hate".

I'll tell you one thing that's deeper than hate - a million plus check from bowel organizers.

Beeno's Pick: Georgia Southern

Tuesday, December 30: The Boxcar Bowel (Shreveport, Louisiana). La Tech vs. Coastal Carolina

The quality control in the Boxcar Bowel has dipped as only one of the two teams is 6-6. Of course the one that isn't 6-6 is the team coming in from France, so maybe they're a metric 6-6.

Coastal Carolina fired their coach during the season yet still made it to a bowel. That sort of distraction may be a big advantage for the Fighting Frenchmen.

Beeno's Pick: La Tech

Tuesday, December 30: The Drake Music City Bowel (Nashville, Tennessee). Tennessee vs. Illinois

These are two teams that were hoping for something bigger than playing in Nashville a day before New Year's Eve as they were dreaming of playing in Tampa the next day. It should be a scenic environment with plenty of orange in the stadium - and that's just from Coach Bulimia's jacket.

I give a narrow edge to the team that's used to winning in Nashville. Winning at least until recently.

Beeno's Pick: Tennessee

Tuesday, December 30: The General Santa Ana Alamo Bowel (San Antonio, Texas). Southern Cal vs. TCU

Normally I'd automatically go with the Trojans in this one but I understand a bunch of their players won't be participating. TCU had a surprisingly good season and will be playing down the road from Fort Worth. So obviously I'm picking TCU, right? Nope. I have learned never to underestimate the offensive prowess of Riley Lincoln and he'll find a way to scheme up a few scoring plays. Also I try to avoid picking against the Song Girls.

Beeno's Pick: Southern Cal

Wednesday, December 31: The Unreliable Undercooked Steaks Outback Bowel (Tampa, Florida). Iowa vs. Vanderbilt

This is a real clash of two approaches to the game. Iowa will play solid defense and try to grind things out while Vandy, behind the scintillating Diego Pavia, will go for the big play.

Normally one should give the edge to the defense, but I've always had a soft spot for Vandy's team. And for Commodes. Especially the high powered types.

Beeno's Pick: Vanderbilt

Wednesday, December 31: Tony the Tiger's Bowels (El Paso, Texas). Arizona State vs. Duke

I'm surprised that this devil vs devil game isn't being hosted by Nick Satan.

Duke had a great season and won the ACC championship game but decided to turn down a BS playoff spot in favor of playing in one of the most legendary bowel games.

ASU learned its own harsh lesson after they wasted time participating in the playoff last year and they're back in bowel land where they belong, in a half-empty stadium overlooking what's left of the Rio Grande. I give them a slight edge.

Beeno's Pick: Arizona State

Wedneday, December 31: The Fulmer/Carr Citrus Classic (Orlando, Florida). Michigan vs. Texas

Here are two more blueblood programs with great hopes this season and, for once, those hopes were fulfilled as Michigan and Texas made it to one of the most prestigious bowel games.

It will be a fine battle of two overhyped quarterbacks, Bruce Underwood and Peyton Manning III. In the end I have to go with the Longhorns.

Beeno's Pick: Texas

Wednesday, December 31: Siegfried and Roy Disemboweled (Las Vegas, Nevada). Nebraska vs. U.T.A.H.

Nebraska is finally back and boweling in a real game (playing in Yankee Stadium doesn't count) for the first time in forever. In so doing they'll be facing a team with ties to their past, as U.T.A.H. hails from an area that used to be quite a fertile recruiting ground for the Cornholio. Given that Nebraska has fired their quarterback's uncle and likely several other family members, I'm thinking we may see some opt outs. Go with the guys from the Loan Star State.

Beeno's Pick: The University of Texas at Houston

Friday, January 2: The People's Liberation Army Armed Forces Bowel (Fort Worth, Texas). R.I.C.E. vs. Texas State

It's nice to see that the University of Texas's JV program Texas State is doing so well again. They'll get to play in an in-state bowel game which should give them a big edge over their visitors from New England. While R.I.C.E. is used to playing teams from far away like Yukon and Louisiana, heading down to Texas could present a challenge. But I think their defense will pull them through.

Beeno's Pick: Rhode Island Continuing Education

Friday, January 2: The Marcus Liberty Bowel (Memphis, Tennessee). Navy vs. Cincinnati

Cincinnati has had a very good passing offense even with Joe Burro out of the lineup. Meanwhile Navy loves to run the ball then run it some more then run. Having seen a few games from each team, I think the Midshipmen will have little trouble with the defense of the Bengals.

Beeno's Pick: Navy

Friday, January 2: Billie Holiday's Bowels (San Diego, California). Arizona vs. Southern Methodist

Wildcat QB Noah Fifita is the best Polynesian QB since Jack Thompson. Or maybe one of the Tuiasosopo guys. Actually there have been some pretty darned good QBs from the Pacific Islands, certainly more than you'd find from the Manning family of late.

SMU has a great passing attack as well, behind Jeopardy offspring Kevin Jennings Jr. The answer is:

Beeno's Pick: Southern Methodist

Friday, January 2: The Coach K's Jizz Bowel (Charlotte, Carolina). Wake Forest vs. Ole Southern Piss State

It's great that we close out the bowel season with the finest celebration ceremony anywhere. Coach K probably is working overtime to produce gallons of that fancy substance we see poured on the winning coach's head. I know my good friend Rod Jeremy says it's one of the best boo-cocky scenes he's ever witnessed. I don't understand Rod at times.

As for the game, Ole Southern Piss State has gotten through the SEC gauntlet with a fine 5-7 record that included only two cupcake victories. Meanwhile Wake Forest has relied on a punishing ground game. I think the Deacons' coach, the approrpiately named Jake Dickert, will be on the receiving end of the postgame celebration.

Beeno's Pick: Wake Forest

BS PLAYOFF GAMES

Friday, December 19: Alabama at Oklahoma

Here's a fine matchup of two blueblood programs in Norman. Of course they've already met up twice in the last 14 months with the Sooners taking both games and making life truly difficult for Coach DeBored.

I foresee a similar outcome and a bright future for Coach as the New York Giants OC.

Beeno's Pick: Oklahoma

Saturday, December 20: Miami at Texas A&M

This will be an interesting collision of programs and cultures. There's one school with a tradition of unusual wild off the field behavior by its deviant students and boosters. Then there's Miami.

You have the Canes, breathing the fumes of a great run that ended over two decades ago against the Aggies, inhaling the entrails of over a century of late season choke jobs.

This could go either way, but my hunch is that the Aggies will somehow survive this round.

Beeno's Pick: Texas A&M

Saturday, December 20: Tulane at Ole Southern Piss

We actually saw this game in September as Tulane got gobsmacked by the Rebels, losing 45-10. A lot has changed since then such as both schools having coaches on their way out the door to rebuild poverty programs in Gainesville and Baton Rouge.

Ole Southern Piss has a fine quarterback in Trinidad Chambliss, who won a D-2 title last year and is now seeking to win a D-1 title. Tulane has a quarterback, Jake Retzlaff, who sought some fine LSD poontang at Bring 'Em Young last year, got kicked out, and headed to the Big Easy this year where it's bead day every day. Good choice, young man.

As for the game, it's gonna be another blowout.

Beeno's Pick: Ole Southern Piss

Saturday, December 20: James Madison at Oregon

JMU is now the cradle of coaches with Coach Cig doing so great at Indiana and Coach Chesney heading to UCLA. Oregon is now the cradle of future Raiders coordinators.

It's been a great season for the Dukes, but it will come to an end vs. the Ducks.

Beeno's Pick: Oregon

Wednesday, December 31: The Tampax Cotton Bowel (Dallas, Texas). Texas A&M vs. Ohio State

The quarterfinal round means we are getting into the more interesting matchups. Unless the Aggies do another Aggie vs Miami.

Anyway you'll have the Huckeye faithful descending on Dallas which will make for an interesting mix of cultures. And you'd have A&M with a effective home field advantage, though the Dayton distilled hooch may even out the noise factor.

In the end it would come down to talent. And coaching. And an inevitable Aggie error.

Beeno's Pick: Ohio State

Thursday, January 1: The Beta Carotine Orange Bowel (Miami, Florida). Oregon vs. Texas Tech

Tech has had a great season and deservedly got a bye in the BS playoffs. Their reward is to be sent to Miami, which seems odd. Miami and the West Texas Plains are about as culturally different as, say, Miami and Tehran.

Oregon seems to be weaker than last year, when they showed up in Pasadena and got smashed by the Huckeyes. This year they'll show up in Miami and pull out a narrow victory.

Beeno's Pick: Oregon

Thursday, January 1: The Rosey Bowel, presented by Cologuard (Pasadena, California). Oklahoma vs. Indiana

Obviously the Hoosiers are the story of the year in college football but let's not overlook those plucky guys from OU who, like Indiana, have pulled out multiple one-score victories. The game would feature the most red in Rose Bowel history, outside of the last time Coach Hayes lost a game out there and his blood pressure spiked.

I would expect a surprisingly close game with a late field goal for the win.

Beeno's Pick: Indiana

Thursday, January 1: The Brazilian Wax Sugar Bowel (New Orleans, Gulf of Mexico). Ole Southern Piss vs. Georgia

This one would be a rematch of an earlier game won by the Bulldogs at home. But the rematch would be in the Super Dome which would provide a bit of a home field advantage to the Rebels. I'm sure Coach Kiffin will want to show up to cheer on his former team. And figure out who might be willing to transfer to LSU the day after the game. Even if his old team wins.

Beeno's Pick: Georgia

Thursday, January 8: The Fiesta Bowel (Tempe, Arizona). Georgia vs. Ohio State

This semi-final would be a rematch of an epic BS playoff game from New Year's Eve 2022 when the Huckeyes missed a late field goal and fell to the Bulldogs. Then again the Huckeyes also missed a late field goal against Indiana and lost that game. And a year ago they missed a late field goal and lost to Michigan.

So I'm guessing Coach Day wouldn't be trying many field goals. Which is fine, they seem to do well enough on extra points and likely would be booting a lot of those.

Beeno's Pick: Ohio State

Friday, January 9: The Katie Couric Peach Bowel (Atlanta, Georgia). Oregon vs Indiana

This game would be a rematch of a regular season game won in Eugene by the Hoosiers. The Hoosiers did a lot of winning this year, more than they have in some full decades.

After going up against the September Heisman winner from Oklahoma, Indiana would in this game face the October Heisman winner. Fortunately for the Hoosiers IU has the actual Heisman winner.

Beeno's Pick: Indiana

Monday, January 20: The BS Championship Game (Miami, Florida). Ohio State vs. Indiana

So I predict we are going to spend a month and a half discussing the BS playoffs and end up right where we started things in early December, with Ohio State and Indiana in a 1 vs 2 matchup.

The first game could have gone either way. The second game could go either way. I just don't think the world is ready for a 16-0 Indiana national champion, it's one of those things that could presage the really bad stuff that people up here keep talking about, like earthquakes and famine and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (and none of the horsemen are named Stuhldreher).

Beeno's Pick: Ohio State