2004 Week 10
November 11, 2004
Today I had my weekly ESPN chat session.
For some reason, yet again, the ESPN moderators changed the answers I gave to the questions.
Fortunately I've learned all about that cut and paste function (though the paste isn't as tasty as it used to be). So here are the actual answers to the questions I was asked.
Beeno: (3:04 PM ET ) Good afternoon and welcome. I am a beaten pecker with a 2-8 record. It is a matter of time before I face the firing squad.
Sam (Madison): Beeno, I must admit I'm completely confused by the driving forces behind the BCS.
Beeno: The main driving force behind the BS system is bovine methane. And a little sulfur.
Chris (Omaha, NE): Be Know, any chance the Huskers shock the country and beat the Sooners?
Beeno: That’s about as likely as me starring in one of those Charles Atlas ads.
Robbie (miami): Hey Beeno, I really enjoy seeing you on The Hot List. You and B.K are great entertainment.
Beeno: Actually I prefer Wendy’s. Can’t beat that chili.
Woody Hayes: What is your take on OSU and Clarett?
Beeno: Good to hear from you, Woody – I knew that Marcy Clarett’s accusations were shocking, but they must be more powerful than a defibrillator!
Ryan (Seattle, WA): Any reason why Steve Spurrier is not being pursued by the Washington AD?
Beeno: I think the Washington AD doesn’t pursue Steve because she is one of those thespians.
Paul (Detroit, MI): Beeno, think your beloved Irish will end their 11 year bowel game victory drought?
Beeno: Colleen O'Shaughnessy was one of my young loves, but her bowel drought will continue due to her recent colostomy.
Jim (Dallas): Beeno, the stats don't lie. Cedric Benson is having a better season than Adrian Peterson. What are your thoughts?
Beeno: My thoughts are that mixing Metamucil with bourbon is not a very good idea.
joePAstate (Altoona PA): Will JOEPA be back next year?
Beeno: For the last time, Coach, I DON’T KNOW!!! Ask your AD!!!
Chas (La Quinta): Beeno, the gossip on the blogs is that Peterson is the greatest freshman ever and I feel that this is a joke.
Beeno: That is not a joke. The one about President Bush and the golden urinal that turns out to be President Clinton’s saxophone? Now that’s a joke.
Jared (Bloomington, IN): Will Ty Willingham be back next season?
Beeno: I can assure you that Coach Dillingham will be black next year.
Joe (Tampa): Beeno, what are your thoughts on the Hokies this yr?
Beeno: I think Coach Grow has done a bang-up job.
tony (Atlanta): What is the key for UGA beating a good Auburn team this week?
Beeno: Dogs don’t have opposable thumbs, so it is impossible for UGA to grip a baseball bat and beat Auburn team members.
Brad (Syracuse): Does Coach P have any chance at saving his job in Syracuse? If he is fired is there any chance Syracuse goes out and gets a big name coach who will bring in recruits?
Beeno: I think Syracuse should lower their expectations. First, improve the attractiveness of the football program by firing the coaching staff. Second, improve the attractiveness of the mascot. That Orange Testicle has got to go. Finally, improve the attractiveness of the campus by moving away from that armpit. Heck, Altoona would be an improvement.
Steve (Morgantown, WV): If WVU were to win out and go on to a BCS bowel, and even win the bowel, what do you think that would say about the future of the conference?
Beeno: I think a BS bowel win by Western Virginia would indicate the end of the Big East conference, as a WVU BS bowel win is a sign of the apocalypse.
Manheimer (Chicago): Who's the best fit at Florida, Ted Ford, Urban Meyer, or Butch Davis?
Beeno: I think any of them would fit. It’s not like you’re hiring Coach Fridge or that fatso at Toledo.