2011 Week 3
September 20, 2011
The season is now in full swing, with exciting intersectional matchups like that contest in Miami on Saturday night. Miami became famous with those "Catholics vs. convicts" games against the Fighting Irish. In this game, however, OSU's offensive effort was less Papist and more eunuch. I haven't watched an Ohioan fail so miserably at scoring since Warren G Harding visited my uncle's Cleveland bordello.
The biggest news was off the field, as there has been more talk about conference realignment. The pundits kept on saying there had been a "seismic shift" and that Texas would join the Pacific-8.
Now I hadn't heard about any earthquake, especially not one that split off Mexico and created a new Southwest coast around El Paso. But I guess that the Aggies will have to get used to being surfer dudes. At least the SWC teams will be ready for the change, as the Pac-8 defenses of late have been almost as weak as those in the Lone Star state.
There's a buzzword out there now for these new expanded leagues, they're called "super-conferences", because they've merged parts of other leagues.
It's kind of like those "super groups" in the olden days of popular music. You'd get Glenn Miller and Tommy Dorsey together and they'd make some even better music.
I was explaining this super group concept to my daughter, Beth Cook, who became famous last year after she scored 69 on Morganna. She said, "Dad, I'm quite familiar with super-groupies, I became friends with every member of Asia. And, after they were formed from two other Seattle groups, I got a backstage pass to see Pearl Jam." The photos she shared were interesting, they don't make pearl necklaces like they used to.
There was a lot of exciting action outside of Miami. South Carolina avoided getting drowned by the Navy Seamen. Oklahoma had a fine debut in the SEC North, knocking off conference rival Florida State. Arkansas upheld the pride of the SEC by defeating the Men of Troy. Monte Kiffin probably should go back to being an assistant, he just isn't getting the job done for USC.
Notre Dame got in the win column after knocking off the Michigan State Fighting Chippewas 31-13. Chip coach Dan Tanna tried to top last year's "Little Bro" fake field goal. This year's fake involved a 300-pound lineman in a miniskirt trying the ole fumblerooskie and it was called "Big Ho". But Irish coach B Kelly, having had lots of experience with big men in drag, sniffed it out and the trick play failed.
Some of the best action came from the new Pac-16, as conference play opened for that new league. Stanford dominated Arizona. Texas pulled away from UCLA. Oregon had little trouble with Missouri. And new Pac-16 superpower Nebraska blew out Washington.
This is shaping up like a great season, I can't wait until next weekend's games, especially the backdoor brawl in Morgantown between Western Virginia and LSU. Talk to you next week.