2017 Week 7
October 17, 2017
Whoo boy, we had us some upsets in college football last weekend. Four top ten teams lost and several other ranked teams had close calls. I haven't seen so much blood in the water since the 1938 Daytona Beach E Coli Festival.
It started on Friday night when defending BS champion Clemson couldn't stop Syracuse's final clock-killing drive and lost 27-24. It was a monumental win for the Orange Testicles.
Right after that we were all shocked to watch the Washington State Fighting Pirates get hornswaggled by the hippies of Berkeley. They got thumped, by a 37-3 margin.
It didn't get much better on Saturday, as the naughty youngsters of Boyes' State blew out #19 South Dakota State 31-14 and Memphis had an exciting win, gobbling the Navy Seamen, winning 30-27. The Duke Blue Devils fought hard but eventually were upset by a feisty 1-win team from a former women's college in Tallahassee.
LSU has had a real up and down year behind Coach Ogre, but they got a stunning punt return from a guy named DJ Chark. I'd say it was like LSU legend Billy Cannon's national championship-clinching punt return in 1959, but that was a Halloween evening affair so was more dramatic - not a routine day game with Gary Danielson drooling into his microphone. Besides, these days LSU is like Dracula, they suck the most at night.
One of the final games of the night was also pretty exciting, as Arizona State jumped out to an early lead and repeatedly stuffed #5 Washington, winning 13-7. That was a tough loss for Coach Peterson and his Thetans.
There were also some close calls for favorites. Southern Cal fell behind 21-7 at the half, came back, then had to stop a late two-point conversion to hold off the University of Texas at Houston, 28-27. Oklahoma scored a late TD on a long pass to a rumbling stumbling tight end to beat Texas 29-24 in the latest edition of the Red River Shootout.
Michigan went down to Indiana and held off the Hoosiers in overtime, 27-20. Now I'm still a bit unsure about these overtime rules. Indiana kicked a field goal, then Michigan scored, then Indiana got another turn. Even the NFL rules aren't this confusing!
Ohio State went to Lincoln and administered a wedgie to the Cornholio, leading 35-0 at half then coasting to a 56-14 victory over Nebraska. I'd say Dr Tom is spinning in his grave but I think I saw him stacking up moving boxes next to Coach O'Riley on the sideline.
My daughter Beth Cook apparently has finally slowed down, only allowing 9 scores by South Carolina State. I knew she'd eventually get tired of "making the rounds".
South Carolina beat Tennessee in a field goal shootout, 15-9. Texas A&M had a similar bootylicious result, kicking late three field goals to win at Florida Field, 19-17 to stay alive in the SEC South.
One of the great delights of the night was watching Arizona blow out UCLA behind exciting quarterback Khalil Tate. I'm just surprised that Khalil isn't playing for the Fighting Irish like his father Golden Tate did.
We had some bonus college football on Sunday as the Western Michigan vs. Acorn game was postponed a day due to flooding on the Where's Waldo Stadium turf. One million gallons washed onto the playing surface. I tell you that colleges need to do a better job of controlling the Homecoming tailgate port-a-johns, no field can handle that much raw sewage.
Next week we have some huge potentially close matchups, including Michigan at Penn State, USC at Notre Dame, and Alabama minus 53 vs Tennessee. Talk to you soon!