2023 Week 4
September 27, 2023
Now THAT was a great weekend of college football. Some real slobberknockers. But enough about my reaction to the Song Girls.
We had a lot of fun watching TCU host SWC archrival SMU. We get quite a crowd for that game, with great guys like Forrest Gregg and Jim Swink cheering on their teams. But the real action was when Horny Toad legend Slingin' Sammy Baugh started talking trash with SMU's Doak Walker. I was getting nervous that they'd start taking swings at each other as TCU pulled away in the game. Fortunately the shouting calmed down.
A few minutes later little Davey O'Brien of TCU fame showed up and the three of them, Sammy Baugh, Doak Walker, and Davey O'Brien, started arguing about who had the biggest trophy. Then our bouncer John walked in and told them to hush up as he had the biggest trophy of them all. John, better known as Johnny Wadd, dropped trou and that put an end to that dispute.
After that people kind of settled down and we went back to watching the games.
I'd like to congratulate Washington State, who nosed out Oregon State 38-35 to win the Pac-2 title and clinch a Rose Bowel berth.
In the Big Ten Indiana had a scintillating two-point shootout win over Acorn. The Hoosiers are well prepared for their eventual relegation to the Mid-American Conference.
In league action Northwestern came back from 21 points down to stun Minnesota and the entire Wildcat student section rushed the field and spread out from the 7 yard line to the 9 yard line.
Nebraska appears to be slowly improving under Coach Rhule. They doubled up the Fighting Frenchmen of La Tech, 28-14. The Cornholio struggling to beat a foreign team? Lawrence Phillips must be spinning in his grave. Or maybe Lawrence is spinning on Satan's rotisserie.
Penn State held Iowa to about -37 yards in a 31-0 victory. I haven't seen an offense more punchless since my good friend Coach Corso's celebrity boxing match.
LSU came from behind to knock off R Kansas to win the Battle for the Giant Bootie. There is no truth to the rumor that I was the model for the Giant Bootie trophy. That is actually Chris Berman's cellulite-ridden tush.
North Carolina State withstood a furious Virginia comeback to move 50 yards in 30 seconds to break a tie with a game-winning field goal. Virginia helped out its foe by committing multiple unsportsmanlike conduct penalties in the closing seconds, including two consecutive plays where UVA players removed their headgear after the play ended. Guys, if you're going to yank your helmet in a football situation, do it in the privacy of your own room not on video. Ask coach Tucker about that.
Florida State had a tough battle with Clemson, prevailing 31-24. Someone said this game went to overtime but I didn't see any two point conversions in the box score so I think it was a regulation game.
The best game of the week was in South Bend as Notre Dame hosted the Ohio State Huckeyes, with the visitors prevailing 17-14 on a last-second touchdown. We managed to keep the ND coaches and the OSU coaches apart for this one. Well, we managed to keep Woody away from them. Nobody gets too wound when Paul Brown or Earle Bruce come by to say hello.
After the game was over Ohio State Coach Day had a few unkind things to say about my good friend Coach Lew Holts then he vented about Lew Costello for saying "third base" too often. I'm also not sure about Coach's new "Ohio vs. the World" slogan. I'd suggest tackling something more basic, like "Ohio vs. Hygiene" or "Ohio vs. Literacy".
Well that wraps up week 4 and we're only one day from the start of week 5! Time flies!