2024 Week 7
October 15, 2024
Whoa boy did we have a great weekend of college football!
The most prominent game was the Huckeyes' visit to Eugene Oregon, which ended in a 32-31 win for the Ducks. I was amazed at some of the young talent on the field. That Ohio State receiver Jebediah Smith, man what versatility. He's as good as anyone at leaping, running, catching, and delivering a double forearm shiver.
The game did end with controversy as Ohio State's quarterback Will Howard ran up the middle with time running out. I haven't seen a Howard make such a dumb decision since Will's grandpa Shemp left The Stooges to try a solo career. Which really disappointed Iggy Poo.
Also out west was a really interesting game between Penn State and Southern Cal. The Trojans have come out on the short end of some tight contests of late and they lost this one in overtime, 33-30. Now in this case the overtime rules made sense - each team got to try a field goal, one kicker made his kick and the other kicker didn't. I wish other overtimes were this cleanly competed so we don't have to sit through all these extra plays and two point shootouts.
My Panthers had another tight contest and another win, defeating the Cal Bears 17-15. Believe it or not Pitt is now 6-0!
Georgia had a bit of a scare from a weaker than usual Ole Southern Piss State team, holding off the "other" Bulldogs 41-31. The big story was late in the game when Georgia's coach Kirby Smart shoved the opponent's quarterback, which of course led to a visit to me from Coach Hayes. "That twerp didn't even do it right. He was so concerned about being subtle and making it look accidental that he barely made contact. You've got to own that sort of thing and put your hips into it so you really connect". Ole Woody was breathing fire and tried to demonstrate on me what sort of shove would actually work, but he hit the soft part of my belly and ended up elbowing himself in the noggin when his arms rebounded.
UGA's next opponent, Texas, ran roughshod in the Red River Shootout, gunning down the Sooners 34-3. I'm beginning to think that Texas is back. At least for this week.
Tennessee had their own overtime win against rival Florida, rebounding after last week's embarrassment vs R Kansas. I think the Vols are well situated to make another post-season trip to Orlando.
The Bayou Bungholes also had an overtime win, this one against Ole Southern Piss. I was a bit surprised that LSU came back from a double digit deficit, coach B Kelly doesn't seem all that focused on the Magnolia Bowel. I guess, rare for a wrapper, he's not a booty type.
It was a great week in the SEC and last week's biggest winner Vanderbilt kept things going with a win at Kentucky, 20-13. I would be really excited if the Commodes keep on winning and host a BS playoff game. It would be the best thing to happen to a perennial college football loser since Northwestern made it to a Rosey Bowel. Or since Butch Jones took R Kansas State on a December trip to Montgomery to play around in Carmelo Anthony's Bowels.
Alabama bounced back from their Nashville loss to hold off South Carolina 27-25. South Carolina, down 8, scored to pull within 2 but missed the two-pointer, then recovered the onside kick. But the Tide was able to stave them off.
The occasionally noticed Illinois vs Purdue rivalry also had an exciting finish. Purdue scored to get within 5, recovered an onside kick, scored again to go up 3, but Illinois drove down to kick a field goal to send the game to overtime. In overtime Illinois scored and kicked, while Purdue scored and went for 2 and the win, but came up short, losing 50-49. My good friend Eddie Van Halen came by to watch the end of the game and he was greatly disappointed that Purdue failed on the 2 pointer, he kept saying "I wanted 51-50". I don't understand these rock and rollers at times.
As you can tell, there were a lot of crucial onside kicks. One of the better ones occurred during that Oregon vs. Ohio State game, where the Oregon kicker bounced the ball off a Huckeye then raced in to recover it. A lot of people speculated on whether that kick was intentional and I'm still not sure myself.
But I do know that the first onside kick was quite intentional, though not as an attempt by the kicking team to get the ball back. Way back in 1927 Duke was hosting rival North Carolina State. Late in the game, with NC State leading 20-12, Duke scored. Back then there was no two point conversion and Duke missed the extra point. But there was controversy on the extra point as Duke fullback and kicker Jan Jankoski Cupp was roughed on the play by NC State star "Black Jack" McDowell. The refs didn't call a foul on the play, which infuriated Jan.
In that era teams didn't even think of trying onside kicks, instead they just kicked deep and played defense. But Jan was really angry. He saw McDowell lined up to block on the kickoff return so he booted the ball right at McDowell and hit him in the crotch. McDowell fell over in pain and a Duke player landed on the ball. The referees ruled, correctly, that the ball belonged to Duke. The Blue Devils drove down the field. However, once again, Jan missed a key kick as McDowell ran up and kicked him in the groin but again was not called for a foul. The Wolfpack held on for a 20-18 win.
As a result of the final minutes of the game the NCAA issued three new rulings - first that onside kicks were now permitted, second that kicks to the groin were no longer permitted, and third that players would now be required to wear groin protection. In honor of the ill-fated eventually childless Duke kicker, these devices were nicknamed Cupps.
And now you know the rest of the story.