2024 Week 8
October 22, 2024
The third Saturday in October has come and gone and we sure had a humdinger of a game in Knoxville. Alabama looked to be in control but the Vols roared back then held on for a 24-17 victory. I think the tree-poisoning guy is out of jail now so Coach DeBoer may want to keep an eye on his shrubbery. And his pets.
I wasn't paying too close of attention so when I saw that USC was leading Oklahoma by a big margin I figured that Coach Riley Lincoln was taking it out on his old school. I was mistaken - it wasn't the guys from LA but rather South Carolina putting it to the Sooners, by a 35-9 margin. Normally guys from Oklahoma are better at beating Cocks.
We had a great throwback game in Champagne as Illinois celebrated the 100th anniversary of Red Grange's greatest game by hosting and beating Michigan 21-7, which was a huge win for Coach Butthead Bulimia. The Illini even wore old school 1924 uniforms, which I can tell you made Red very happy as he joined us to watch. Even the broadcasters got into the spirit of things - play by play guy Brad Nessler wore an old 1920's coat with a hat holding a "PRESS" card. And my good friend Gary Danielson looked very svelte on the sideline in a flapper dress.
Nebraska paid a visit to Bloomington Indiana and got shellacked by the Hoosiers. Indiana pounded Nebraska 56-7, thoroughly embarrassing the Cornholio defense. I haven't seen a bunch of fresh-faced farm boys run over Blackshirts like that since the Patton's Seventh Army took Messina.
Missouri came from behind to beat Auburn 21-17. Auburn looked to be in very good shape until their kicker missed a field goal by about 100 feet wide left. It was only after the awful miss that I heard his name was Towns Magoo, so I'm guessing they should be glad that Mr Magoo kicked it (mostly) toward the correct end zone. Coach Freeze seems to be struggling again so I'm sure he is hoping to rev up recruiting by getting the state of Alabama to loosen up prostitution laws.
Duke was the latest team to embarrass Florida State, holding off the Seminoles 23-16 at home. I'd let you know what Coach Bowden thought about FSU's 1-6 start but he's been hanging out at a monastery ever since Georgia pounded his old school in the Orange Bowel.
One of the most exciting finishes occurred out in Provo as Bring 'Em Young score a wild late touchdown to come from behind against Oklahoma State, 38-35. Darius Lassiter took in a pass around the 15 and dodged through numerous defenders to score the game-winner. I haven't seen a bunch of Cowboys choke that badly since the last few NFL playoffs.
Of course the biggest game of the day took place in Austin as Georgia thoroughly dominated Texas for a half then held on for a 30-15 victory. The game did get a bit dicey for the Bulldogs in the second half after Texas intercepted a pass and punched it in to pull within 8. The Longhorn interception appeared to have be overturned on a defensive pass interference penalty on Texas. But, after Texas fans littered the field with debris, the referees reconsidered their decision and decided there was no foul on the play.
While there was a lot of consternation about the fans throwing stuff on the field, things are far milder in that regard than they used to be. I can remember the 1935 Egg Bowel in Oxford Mississippi when Ole Southern Miss hosted Mississippi State. The host school was hoping to make it to the Orange Bowel and many fans brought oranges to the game. Late in the third quarter with Ole Southern Miss leading 7-6, a TD for the home team was called back on a block to the back. Upset fans began hurling their oranges at the officials, but the refs refused to discuss or alter the call. Then some of the older alums took matters into their own hands and started throwing objects that drenched the refs, who then decided to pick up the flag. The TD counted and Ole Southern Miss went on to a 14-6 victory.
In fact this was the incident that led to the rechristening of the school, as the geriatric alums hadn't thrown their drinks at the refs. Instead these incontinent old men had thrown their urostomy bags at the refs, drenching them in urine. Thus the school began to be known as Ole Southern Piss. And now you know the rest of the story.